As a human, you get to a point where you want to build what will outlive you, but if you’re stuck in a ‘survival mode’ how on GOD’s green earth will you do that?
Reflecting over the last few weeks, and I realize I’ve been going through a routine: No appetite for work and I wonder why I do what I do. Depression isn’t the feeling but general numbness for everything work-related and the question “WHY” pops up like that annoying 4am alarm.
Consistency and hardwork is boring. Yet, the boring things are the foundation of any successful venture.
You know what needs to be done, but the question is “Why should you keep doing it?”
The crazy part of this existential rollercoaster is that, your job doesn’t care what you feel, just deliver first. (why should they care anyway? they pay you to work. You either be A+ or exit the door)
Motivation and discipline mean nothing if “survival mode” is staring you down, and getting to the state where you don’t have to worry about the little things of life, gives you a little breather to be unemotional about life’s choices and actions.
To escape survival mode, you need financial leverage, without which you are stuck in a loop.
I have no conclusion to this existential puzzle but a desperate desire to see things work and make sense of life one day at a time. Until excitement sets in: “Do the boring things first, that gets you out of survival mode.”