it's been quite a while since i made a post here on stacker news.
i have been working alot on myself, my mental sanity and well being, and the biggest realization i've made is to have zero expectations in life. and let me tell you why.
1. you will be disappointed. guaranteed.
nothing. and i mean NOTHING. ever goes according to plan, no matter how prepared you think you are for something.
i have said this many times already, i went to japan. i expected a good opportunity, experience, and job for at least a year. the first and last things were absolute shit, but i came out of it with a really good learning experience. 65 days later, i am back at home as a better person who grew and understood alot more things about life.
of course i was disappointed, yet, there was a light that came about it.
2. the law of attraction activates.
during the course of this internal healing journey, i have learned that chasing things ultimately leads to you expecting something at the end. so i stopped chasing things, and have learned to just simply let them come my way. sometimes, the best thing you can do is little to nothing at all. two sayings i have been writing in my journal every night so far are:
  • i do not chase, i attract. what belongs to me will simply find me.* (quoted from Thewizardliz based on a tiktok she talked about).
i receive good. i receive miracles. i receive everything that i need. (quoted from anila sita 101).
it's pretty crazy how well this works. when you truly learn to let go, things start to attract toward you. you gain a sense of comfort at what the universe can gift you, and you will find they come when you least expect it.
3. the overthinking in your brain stops, and you learn to live in today.
one of the most relieving things about having no expectations in life is that the overthinking that happens in your brain pretty much turns off. when you learn to fully trust that everything is okay, and you constantly remind yourself of the positives (what you do have, what you are grateful for both big and small, etc.), there is nothing to think about except for what is happening in front of you right now.
for instance, all i have presently did today was:
  • giving gratitude for waking up, and reading off my positive affirmations.
  • eating breakfast.
  • starting a new book while catching some sun on a grassy field, while watching my boyfriend do his sprints.
  • going to the gym, and getting a good pump in.
  • showered, hanging out with my dog, and finishing a book.
  • working on content stuff and applying for a few jobs.
  • ate some food for dinner.
  • writing for SN.
i have found so much peace in this mindset, and even in my present day i have no expectations. there are goals of course, but there is no overbearing pressure anymore. the stress and frustrations of yesterday and tomorrow, disappear.
all in all, life is so much more peaceful when you expect very little.
ever since i have been home, i have been putting so much pressure onto myself to hurry up and make money, and do all these things to hustle and catch up with my peers and family. i was in my head so much about what i didn't have, i forgot about all the things that i did have right in front of me.
for once, i have learned (and am still constantly learning) to put myself the fuck first. now, i simply let the universe and whatever god that exists out there to do whatever work it is behind the scenes. as long as i am putting forth efforts that are valuable to myself and hopefully to others, all is going to be okay.
and so far, it has been.
I completely agree. Took me some time to realize this on my own, but life has since become much more peaceful.
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42 sats \ 1 reply \ @398ja 14 Jun
When as children we were not loved, or were neglected, when our needs were not met by our caretakers, we often develop a sense of deficiency, and therefore, end up trapped in an endless cycle of chasing satisfaction in external things. It's so common in our societies, it's been normalised...
Our primary goal as parent is to love our kids, be there for them, listen to them, and treat them with the utmost respect. ❤🙏
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i wish my parents were more like you, but i do not blame them at all for the way they were raised, and don’t often see what i see.
i have surrendered myself to my own peace, and i no longer live at the satisfaction of anyone. my parents’ version (from what i have observed based on how they live their lives) of wanting me to be happy and wanting the best for me is very very different than the one i intend for myself. everyone also has made their own choices and mindsets that ultimately lead them to the lives they are living right now. my parents went down the path they chose, and it is time for me to do me.
i really do hope that this also inspires younger readers, and to let them know it is okay to live a version of their own life without seeking the approval of anyone let alone feeling bad about it.
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Welcome back!
What book are you reading these days?
You are enough.
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all sorts of books all the time! I keep myself on my toes with fantasy and dystopian (i'm a book reviewer so i have advance reader copies and all sorts of other fun books to keep me occupied). as for self help, i have been reading the mountain is you by brianna wiest. a truly phenomenal read for mastering your mind, and coming to peace within it.
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Well done!!
Your articles are full of worth relating to 'Negative Capabilities'. I've read your previous articles about struggles in Japan and glad to know that you've found another way around.
Yes, Life is an eternal bliss if we just don't have any expectations from it. I would add up - also don't have any regrets. Things are much easier if our mindset is clean and clear. Your life only gives you what you actually imagine inside your nasty head. Don't let that head control you, just keep flowing with the flow and you will find the sea...
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What a nice mindset. I will tell you today I got the smallest thing to hold me back. I went to get my oil change and I it was supposed to cost $70 and instead it costed $130. Of course I was mad and felt like I got scammed, but in the end - this $60 put me in a bad mood for quite some time - and in the end made it so I couldn't finish my podcast and post.
In the end it isn't alot. It is annoying, but it isn't worth my time and effort trying to chase this down. I need to focus on the big picture that live gives me - and I am sure the universe will find a way to pay it back. Thanks for this one, needed it today.
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💯 I think this is beautifully put. It’s easier said than done of course but it’s great that you are doing it and sharing your experience.
I think ‘law of attraction’ is often misunderstood and people end up doing manifestation rituals and all sorts of things.
But actually I believe you are correct. The secret is simply to trust in God or whatever higher powers you believe in and work towards creating positive things in your life. And non preference or ‘wu wei’ perfectly encapsulates your philosophy.
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Great articles! All the tips and tricks are excellent and I appreciate your point regarding overthinking. I want to add that what we do in the present moment shapes our past and the future as well.
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Your journey to finding yourself and peace is very inspiring. Thank you for sharing it!
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Stack Sats and stay humble
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If I have to give a Life advice, I'd be:
Work hard as you can and definitely don't expect any result. Result will come automatically if your efforts are honest enough.
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  1. you will be disappointed. guaranteed.
This is simply not true. With enough planning, lots of things will in fact mostly go to plan, and you can fill in the finer details along the way. You need to do enough research so that your expectations are based in reality.
There is a fine line between having no expectations and giving up.
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You are not realistic
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Yesssirrr. Dream big. Release expectation. Do good. Sir back and watch the show.
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I say life is better without any reason to reason why we were born. Stop thinking too much. Just play the situations and don't try to make anything complex. Life will be happier.
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That's great. My default mode has always been sort of like that and I think it's often frustrated my teachers or parents.
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Having no expectations is hard, almost impossible even. We are all constantly planning for the future, based on what's likely or what we hope to happen. I do risk management for my job, so it's my nature to assume the worst and prepare for it
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