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Not too long ago I wrote some thoughts about the exoself. In my usage of that term, I mean incorporating other components of the world into a type of aggregate identity. A related idea, though, is curating your actual environment, not in such a way as to incorporate it into your self (although I suppose the barriers between environment and self are unavoidably permeable) but to make a pleasant place to live.
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At first I was thinking about what this would mean, physically. For instance, I'm typing this on a new keyboard that I love out of all reasonable proportion. I have other mechanical keyboards that I own out of ... appreciation, I suppose, for the craftsmanship of the thing-as-artifact, or for the passion or obsession that led to their creation. But this one I just love to type on! I literally look forward to coming home so I can type on it.
Point is, this is an environmental feature, and that got me wondering how far I could go on the quest to make my environment beautiful. I always felt hapless when it came to designing living spaces, but what if I only pursued my own flavor of beauty? According to my own personal aesthetic, unique to me?
That probably sounds idiotic, but I had never considered the idea before. My habitats have always fallen somewhere on the gradient between ascetic and cluttered with techno-junk bc I didn't know how to make things look nice by normie standards. I felt vaguely guilty, like I had failed to achieve even basic competence of something foundational.
It's funny how other people's values leach into you.
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Then I read this article and this one by Bryan Caplan about the prospect of creating your own personal bubble.
We usually talk about 'being in a bubble' pejoratively -- it's what we say about people who've lost touch with the world and who soak in their own ignorance and self-soothing. They mainline news telling them how they are awesome and how the hated out-group is stupid and corrupt. They find talking heads who amplify the same messages, but louder and with more acid.
I try really hard not to be in this type of bubble because I think it's a giant source of alpha to understand reality, and not delude myself about the fantasy world I'd prefer to be living in. But the Caplan article made me think a bit differently about the whole idea:
You might even call it my Imaginary Charter City. I’m not just surrounded by Ph.D.s; I’m surrounded by libertarian economics Ph.D.s. I’m not just unfamiliar with NASCAR; I forget the very existence of professional sports for months at a time. [...] Why put so much distance between myself and the outside world? Because despite my legendary optimism, I find my society unacceptable. It is dreary, insipid, ugly, boring, wrong, and wicked. Trying to reform it is largely futile; [...] Instead, I pursue the strategy that actually works: Making my small corner of the world beautiful in my eyes.
Just as I could curate my own physical environment to be beautiful by my standards -- a workspace with the right lighting and the right music and a keyboard that makes satisfying sounds when I press its buttons -- perhaps I could also create a bubble where instead of being depressed and miserable all the time because reality is so bleak, I could rather cultivate an enclosing reality like a gardener cultivates a plot: I could select intellectual exposures and social encounters that nourishes me, something comforting and exciting and supportive and alive.
If I want sunflowers, I plant sunflowers.
Again, you're probably saying: duh! but I never really thought about this before, not as something to do intentionally, not with the objective function of the right vibes. Whatever bubble construction I did was by accident, not design.
I never made a quest out of it.
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This morning I read this article about some ways that social media -- and modern life in general -- are changing us for the worse. Usually we broach this topic in terms of how social media is addictive; or how it manipulates your emotions for profit, or makes you feel bad about yourself with all the comparisons. This sixty year old guy has abs way better than yours!
That's all true; but this article talks about other perverse changes that fall out of the contemporary world, the ubiquitous media environment:
What did we expect when we took down the traditions? When we uprooted our communities? And allowed a generation to be raised by algorithms and the role models it generates for them? And these platforms are always just there, too, reminding us constantly, daily, hourly, that it’s okay to have so little regard for other people.
So little regard for other people. That punch landed. It's like we have honestly forgotten that having regard for other people is a thing that's important to do. Like, if I don't work at it, this isn't even a value that will surface in my mind when I'm interacting online. Instead I'm calculating the angles to eviscerate my 'opponent' with maximum elegance.
In other words: it's not just that you feel slimy and gross from doomscrolling on Twitter or whatever for hours at a shot; but that maybe it's actually making you into a shittier human being. I saw myself in this so much, as both the victim and the transgressor.
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So now I'm thinking about how to get tactical in creating my own bubble, and what the physics of that bubble should be. What inputs do I allow past the gate? What interactions do I try to have more of, what less of? Who do I delete from my mental and physical spaces?
I still have conviction that reality is a competitive advantage and that I should know it intimately and as courageously as I can manage. But I've come around to the idea that it's okay if I only visit regularly. I don't have to make my home there.
this territory is moderated
718 sats \ 6 replies \ @om 26 May
How did getting off Twitter, paying no attention to sports, and planting sunflowers got framed as an escape from reality? To me it looks like moving towards reality.
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This comment gobsmacked me, but there's something deeply true in it. And yet, like Niels Bohr said, the opposite is also a great truth: the way of Being adopted by most of the surrounding world is reality, for most workable definitions of reality.
What I'm having my stoned-in-college moment about is how there are all these realities on offer, and you can pick one you like. Better yet, you can create it.
It is flummoxing to imagine how we got here, though. Step by step we have arrived at this?
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54 sats \ 1 reply \ @om 26 May
the way of Being adopted by most of the surrounding world is reality, for most workable definitions of reality.
The movie "Matrix" is all about pointing out and exploring the problems arising from treating social consensus reality as a substitute for physical reality.
Better yet, you can create it.
Sure, and we're here on this site because Satoshi has created new honest money, opening new technological ways of creating new social consensus realities.
Step by step we have arrived at this?
Technically we haven't arrived anywhere, we're still moving. Imagine everybody in 10 years sitting in their realistic metaverses with their AI assistants-with-benefits and reminiscing of the good old days when people complained how alienated they are from reality just because they've read some text messages on a website.
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The movie "Matrix" is all about pointing out and exploring the problems arising from treating social consensus reality as a substitute for physical reality.
Indeed. And the history of the twentieth century, including its death camps and gulags, offers a nice lesson in what you get when you pay insufficient attention to social reality, and the way it intersects physical reality in the most tangible of ways.
Both these realities matter a lot. It's a question of artfully navigating them.
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Of course Bryan Caplan needs a bubble because he supports open borders and immigration.
He needs a bubble to wall off immigrants from third world countries
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How did getting off Twitter, paying no attention to sports, and planting sunflowers got framed as an escape from reality? To me it looks like moving towards reality.
Its a long and very deep psyop for sure!
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getting off Twitter, paying no attention to sports, and planting sunflowers
I would add to that: reading books and turning off notifications, to name just a few.
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Have you ever read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up? A few years ago I did the Konmari method by the book and allowed me to let go of who I thought I was (or who I thought I needed to be) in such a viscerally physical way. This might be a little woo, but I also think of it as a form of intuition training. I still like to revisit it (although I've been procrastinating this year's!); it's like a ritual way of cultivating your material life.
A book I'm slowly working through, Thespis, argues a perspective that early religious drama preoccupied itself with the seasonal ritual via the concepts of kenosis and plerosis, "emptying" and "filling" - fasting and then feasting. I think it's an interesting framework to consider the curation of the self.
I really liked your post. I really liked this section:
It's like we have honestly forgotten that having regard for other people is a thing that's important to do. Like, if I don't work at it, this isn't even a value that will surface in my mind when I'm interacting online. Instead I'm calculating the angles to eviscerate my 'opponent' with maximum elegance.
When you think about it, if we all had so much regard for ourselves that we honored and cultivated our own gardens, our dealings with others might change dramatically. I say "might" - this topic is something that preoccupies me a lot, but I get smacked with the reality that I'm still a jerk (even to myself) way more often than I'd like. Maybe I need to work on my garden more.
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Have you ever read The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up?
I've heard of it but never read it, but after your comment, I'm going to. I never really made the connection between [what I understood] that book/ideology to be about, and this idea that I'm moving toward. Now that you say it, though, the relationship seems clear and obvious. Thanks for the suggestion!
I think [framework of fasting and feasting is] an interesting framework to consider the curation of the self.
Years ago the idea of cycles was one of the first big, weird ideas that captured my mind. It works at so many levels - there's the seasons, as you say. Then there's the foundational rhythms that have been annihilated by modern life, the most obvious being sleep / wake with the sun; and fast and breaking-of-fast. A ton of physiological processes assume these exist, we have giant cascading chains that depend on them being there. And now they're mostly absent, and weird when they do exist.
if we all had so much regard for ourselves that we honored and cultivated our own gardens, our dealings with others might change dramatically.
I think you're onto something big with that one. I'm seasoned enough to know that all problems don't just melt away if people are generally healthy (in all reasonable senses of that) and have enough (in all reasonable senses of that) but man, 90% of it melts away. Miserable bastards cause more misery, that's a consistent truth in my experience.
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Just started it because of your advice. Thanks for the recommendation. So far it’s really good. I tentatively second the recommendation.
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I should have followed up to say that I've read like a third of it, and got so energized that I discarded a ton of shit. Worth reading, just for that.
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When you discard “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” because you don’t need it anymore
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My wife recently got a mechanical keyboard and she's basically been typing non-stop since. These things make a big difference. At the same time, people can get lost in trying to find the things that will make them happy, instead of focusing on the things that do.
I'm glad you've made this discovery and I think it's a worthwhile pursuit. It's not any sort of rejection of reality, either. There's too much reality to be taking it all in anyway, so you have to discriminate between which aspects you're getting exposure to. Why shouldn't that discrimination be aligned with your values? What other criteria should take precedence?
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I love mechanical keyboards, too. Its really cool because you can customize them, and buy keycaps and the springs. Makes for interesting builds that you can actually use.
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Glad that SN is an integral part of my reality hahaha
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SN has largely become my social media bubble. Just like Elvis articulates in the post, this environment makes me happy in a way other platforms don't. I also find the other people on here more grounded in reality than is normal elsewhere.
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this environment makes me happy in a way other platforms don't.
I know you've mentioned this in passing before; have you written on it in a focused way in a post that I'm forgetting?
I'm thinking a lot about SN and its specialness and appreciate other takes on the topic.
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I'm not sure. It's probably just sprinkled throughout my various posts and comments. Maybe I should meditate on it a bit.
Now would be a good time, because I just collected a bunch of other people's thoughts about why they like Stacker News so much #548695, so that I could lure Minds users over.
In my Minds ad, I say that SN is what Minds aspires to be.
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At the same time, people can get lost in trying to find the things that will make them happy, instead of focusing on the things that do.
Argh, yes. That's the meta lesson, I think: attribute this variance properly. Put your efforts into the places where they have leverage.
There's too much reality to be taking it all in anyway, so you have to discriminate between which aspects you're getting exposure to. Why shouldn't that discrimination be aligned with your values?
Succinctly put.
What other criteria should take precedence?
My change of heart is that nothing else should have precedence. Still trying to figure out how best to include the rest, though.
I spent some time in Venezuela for a stretch. Caracas was a hellscape, just as you often hear about, but I had a friend who had a little place in a country town, nestled partway up a mountain, that was a tiny paradise in the midst of it -- the physical version of the more expansive topic that I wrote about here. It was such a jewel. I keep thinking that that is what I want for myself.
And yet, even if you don't believe in the Devil, the Devil believes in you. Figuring out my relationship with the Devil is an equal part of it.
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Still trying to figure out how best to include the rest
My approach to this is letting the interests of people I enjoy interacting with steer the ship a little bit. I can step a bit outside of my direct interests, for the sake of enhancing a relationship (and potentially expanding my horizons while I'm at it).
I remember @k00b making a really interesting point about what was lost when we gave up newspapers, though. Our environments are so curated now that we don't have easy avenues for random (and shared) information exposure.
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I prefer my bubble to be constantly intertwined with reality so I can step in and out freely on a whim.
Maybe not the best for deep work, thought or focus but it’s how I roll.
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Bubbles are fine as long as they don’t warp your perception of reality.
Bubbles are fine if you are a critical thinker not swayed by corporate media and government propaganda
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That's a good way to describe my prior strategy, I think. But now I see that I was taking too much damage from it, and getting insufficient joy.
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So exciting, your quest!
I gotta recycle Marie Kondo’s mantra here: Does it spark joy?
When I was living on my own in Japan, I pasted photos and postcards that represented the prefectures I had the privilege to visit. I arranged these postcards/photos in such a way that my wall was reminiscent of Japan’s geographical layout.
Downloading this photo from my FB album still makes me happy a decade later:
I once hosted a dinner party and all my friends brought copious amounts of alcohol. I washed the bottles and kept them as ornaments to give off the mistaken impression that I was a sophisticated drinker. Ya, this photo still makes me smile:
Have fun!
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I love this so much -- this is exactly what I'm aspiring to. Such a beautiful way to tend to your own garden. The photos, especially, are a real testament to the life you've lived and the joys you've had in it that are uniquely yours.
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Missed this post last night. First thing I read when I woke up today. Really whacked me between the eyes as relevant to my immediate circumstances. Fantastic read, as usual, and now I'll absorb what's in those links.
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The play between our feelings about reality and its raw is really interesting. I never saw reality and dressing it up as mortal enemies (but they obviously can be at odds). To the contrary, I think you can’t dress reality well without understanding reality well, and yourself, reality's beholder, well. The ideal bubble maker is a tailor and eschews readymade bubbles. It's the readymade bubbles that give bubbles a bad name.
I also think we all make and have bubbles, whether we wish we did or not, in order to move about reality's harshness. Our senses are such a bubble, acting as both a lens and filter to reality. Our brains, picking up where our senses leave off, are bubble makers too. I think the goal is to generate bubbles like our senses, made to enhance reality with a purpose, yet never get so comfortable in a particular bubble that we can't acknowledge it, remove it, replace it, or perform regular maintenance on it. Ideally, we probably have a wardrobe of many such bubbles that we wear depending on our task and reality's weather.
I’m frequently on the edge of misery so I think the effect of dressing up reality has always been easy to measure; "where has this change moved me relative to misery's edge?" I wonder if I've kept the habits that take me back to misery's edge to experiment with ways to better get off the edge, removing my bubble so I can try on a new one. There are so many viable bubbles and we have to wear one, so I want to wear to the best one for me.

This post gave me so many weird, visually-assisted thoughts. Thanks for writing it.
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To the contrary, I think you can’t dress reality well without understanding reality well, and yourself, reality's beholder, well.
This is a provocative idea, but upon reflection, seems right. A specific instance of the template to build something to operate within X, you better understand X. And you better understand your tools.
It's the readymade bubbles that give bubbles a bad name.
This is good enough to go on a t-shirt :)
"where has this change moved me relative to misery's edge?"
I would love an example if you can think of a sharable one.
This post gave me so many weird, visually-assisted thoughts.
Your comment did the same for me. Gracias.
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407 sats \ 0 replies \ @k00b 26 May
I would love an example if you can think of a sharable one.
One that's a little more consistent with your post is interior decorating. The design bubble that gets me farthest from misery's edge is a design that winks at the viewer. What that means is hard to describe but, for me, it's some combination of eclectic (lots to explore) and abundantly thoughtful (lots to appreciate). The more miserable I am, or can make myself, with the status of a room the more it drives me to make it winky (although usually I focus on making it thoughtful because I saturate a room early and easily with eclectic things).
People who like to learn are super familiar with moving to/from misery's edge. Not understanding a subject is like misery's edge on that subject's planet. Your existing bubble wardrobe doesn't do you much good in a new biome with new forces and a new atmosphere.
I think small improvements are easier to measure near misery's edge, and you're kind of eliminating confounders/baggage when you start from the edge and build a new bubble from scratch.
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Debt is dressing up is a bubble.
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I really like the community on SN and the way that you guys write very thought provoking and meaningful content. Other social platforms are too often depressing places and it’s only the algorithm that keeps us addicted and coming back. But here with the V4V there is an energy exchange that takes place that feels very wholesome. Thanks!
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75 sats \ 0 replies \ @Taft 26 May
Great post, as always!
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Fantasy have been one of human's weakest point in history. We fantasies building a world of all possibilities for ourselves, but as we bubbles forth we realize it was an illusionary fantasy. I love your points.
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