19

Something in Jane's head told her that the loving wife would race to her husband's side, and welcome him back from the dead—for so she had thought he was. But these were all fantasies and she knew it. The truth was that she had gotten used to living without him. It is hard to adjust to a spouse who is no longer dead.

When she did finally go out, it was to keep a meeting with Leider.

‘I love what you’ve done with this part,’ said Leider. ‘The competition between these two guys is really great, and I like that it’s not really made overt, or at least, they don’t admit it to each other.’

Leider would have kept going, but it was clear that something was bothering Jane.

‘Hey, are you doing okay?’ he said.

Jane was usually quite reticent. She did not volunteer details about her life, and sometimes had even withheld her thoughts and feelings from Franklin. Yet somehow, with Leider, she found she could hardly keep herself from talking. She told him that she was married and that her husband was John Franklin, and how she had thought he was dead but now he was back, and how the Association or the government or someone was keeping him somewhere. She even told Leider how she felt about seeing her husband again. And that she wasn’t sure she wanted to.

‘You can’t just never see him again,’ said Leider.

Jane nodded. She knew this.

‘But if you don’t want to be with him anymore, tell him. Move on. You won’t be the first couple to divorce.

‘I’m not saying I want a divorce,’ she said. ‘It’s just been a long time. I’ve changed. I’m afraid he has, too. What if things aren’t the same?’

‘I think what you’re really afraid of is that things will be the same.’

‘What?’ said Jane.

‘Come on, Jane,’ said Leider. ‘Listen to yourself. You’re not actually in love with the guy. The way you describe him, he’s basically a cardboard cutout. I mean, you haven’t even mentioned him once in all the times we’ve been meeting.’

This took Jane aback—many things Leider said were like that for her. Like a breath of fresh air, only a little too gusty so that sometimes he made it hard to breathe.

‘I think I should go find him,’ said Jane.

‘What’s the point?’ asked Leider. ‘Even if you do, it’s not like they are going to let him go. These are some of the most powerful people on the planet, and he knows way too much. He only gets out when they want him to get out.’

‘But I can’t just act like it’s no big deal, like he hasn’t come back. I’m his wife!’

‘You don’t love him. You don’t even like him. You are writing everyday, you’re life isn’t bad. Why kick a sleeping dog?’