When I was around 4 years old, I was fearless. I remember this one time that I climbed really high up an apple tree that was in our back garden. I say really high, I was probably just out of an adults arms reach, but to me it felt like the top of the world! I had never seen a view so amazing! I could see the top of our house more clearly, I could see over the fences to the neighbours back gardens, I could see the birds who were giving me a funny look and I could see right through the greenhouse which I would no longer enter after a queen bee tried to KILL me when I was 3 😂

Sat on the sturdy branches, talking to the birds and looking at the clouds... I was in heaven! Nobody could touch me, I was a super-girl and I was also really proud of myself for getting up there.

And then... my mum walked out screaming and shouting at me.

"What the hell are you doing up there you naughty, naughty girl?" "How are you going to get down?" "Why have you done something so stupid?"

Now, as some of you know, my mum wasn't the best! However this story isn't about her so I would like you to hold judgement on her response... after all, this was a reaction. A reaction through fear. She was petrified that her daughter could fall out of a tree and break something, and this is a reaction that A LOT of parents would have.

Until that moment though, I was super-girl! The fear that my mum felt was instantly pushed upon me. Not only was I now questioning myself on my ability to get down from the tree, but I was also afraid that I was in trouble... that the act of going up that tree was "wrong" or "bad".

Somehow, I got down. I can't remember how, but I did, I must have, otherwise I wouldn't be tapping on this keyboard now!

I have however, NEVER climbed a tree since! But, it wasn't just the tree. What that experience did was made me question everything before I did anything. It made me question my ability and I no longer lived in the moment, but instead lived in the memory of the feeling from that day and the imagination of the future, never trusting my instincts or living in the NOW. I would get so far into something, and then back off through fear...

Until...

I met my mentor in the summer of 2021 at a tarot reading workshop that she was holding.

My mouth dropped as she spoke and I was hanging off every word that she was saying. It was as though she was speaking directly to me and unleashing a deeply hidden power from within.

There was so much noise around, people telling me their points of view on conversations that we were having, but my focus was on her. I knew that I wanted to get to know her and learn from her and then those magikal words came out of her mouth...

"I run a programme."

She didn't even need to try and sell it to me... I was there!

The first session began... and the homework was to watch a film, "Yes Man".

JUST SAY YES!

I watched with awe and realised that I had already started this challenge...

I had said YES to transformation and shaved off my hair! I had said YES to my own identity and changed my name! I had said YES to being myself and "came out of the closet" so to speak!

But, what else could I say YES too?

So, I started exploring!

YES to a loving relationship after vowing to be single forever. YES to raising my children the way I wanted to, rather than always following "the rules". YES to learning new skills. YES to remembering and living my magik! YES to trying new things and creating new things! YES to trusting my intuition and following my true will!

Which leads me to the next one...

I learnt to say YES to saying NO and to saying ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

And, it wasn't always a breeze!

I lost friends - and I opened the door to make new ones. I lost family - and I created the family that I truly wanted. I lost my "identity" - and transformed into the magikal being that I always was and had forgotten!

However, by saying YES, I had allowed myself to remember who I am. I am not my memories(past), I am not my imagination(future).. I am simply ME(now).

I know what I want and don't want. I know what I like and what I dislike. I know what I want in my world and what needs to stay out!

And it all started with two things.

Finding the right mentor and saying one three letter word... YES.