for a long time, i HATED asking for help. hated it. on some ocassions, it still scares the crap out of me.

i've always been the type of person to try and figure things out on my own, no matter how easy or hard something is. for me, there has always been an underlying feeling of debt when I accept any form of aid. this feeling has been with me during my school years, with friends, and family matters.

however, being abroad changed my mindset on this. when you are truly alone somewhere where you know no one or how things work, it's the only option you have for your own survival. it was one of the factors that really tested my comfort zone alot, but i'm happy it did.

for instance, i tried to open a bank account here in japan for my job.

the first time i went, i was sweating out of anxiousness. like i said, i much prefer to do things on my own. it was already hard walking into the bank knowing full well that no one was going to speak English. but luckily, someone on the post office side did. they pointed me in the right direction, but i was still pretty self-conscious about not knowing the language very well. the bank lady didn't know any english, but i understood her enough that i had to come back another day and try again. it was super freaking nerve wracking, but i did it. i successfully asked for help instead of crawling into my introvert shell and crying about it later in the day.

the second time, my boyfriend and i tried to open it online together. no success.

the third time, i went to the same bank branch again. and to no avail, no success in opening it this time mostly because it was gonna close soon. however, asking for help this time didn't feel as scary. maybe because i started building up more courage as I went out more and more by myself to stores and around town.

finally, i asked my (former) supervisor to help me, and all fared well after that.

with these small (but monumental for growth) wins, i have now built up the courage to ask for help whenever i need to now. i let down this prideful part of myself, and refuse to think of myself as helpless, lazy, and stupid for doing so. i mean, that's what your friends, family, partner, and good and decent people are there for, right? when you need them the most.

the worst thing that can happen when asking for help, is no for an answer. and that's okay. you can easily ask someone else, or move onto another alternative that is sure to point you in the right direction. in no way is asking for help a sign of weakness, but rather a means for making your life alot easier. especially when it is offered, embrace it fully and don't hesitate to take it.

as long as you're taking initiative and you continue to do so, the right help will come in due time.

keep at it, even if it's super scary.