Thanks for confessing your anxiety here. Ofc Sensei will not let your vulnerability go unnoticed haha.

I would suggest, just chill n go with the flow with whatever direction you have decided on for now. The Universe will intervene if it wants to whip you into shape. Case in point: Undisciplined mentioned the other day that he won’t zap me 33,333 sats because I confess my love for SN every day. He meant it in jest. It got me thinking nonetheless. Shouldn’t I be writing something out of character for once? His question tapped into my insecurity - I should be applying low time preference and spending my energy on a looooooong-form post if I want to step up as a writer.

So, thanks to him, I actually have an idea in mind and will take the effort to flesh it out. Stay tuned for it haha.

This is how the Universe intervened in my case. I guess your anxiety stems from a place of wanting to get it “right” the first time. In regard to this, I think a useful exercise to undertake is to write your own euology. That was what I did for a film appreciation module in teacher training college - and I think I can retrieve it from FB Notes if I make the effort. Anyway I remember writing about singing to my own tune and dancing to my own beat. That’s why I engage in weird random shit because I want to carve my own territory rather than be the best in an accomplished area. Case in point: I used a poem on light to teach my Science students about photosynthesis. It made it all the way to the FB page of my Ministry of Education. So I may never make it to Senior Teacher level, but it’s okay. I answer my own KPI: be an authentic n interesting teacher who can make links across different subjects like no other.

If you feel rushed by the passage of time, then fast iteration is the way to go. Just produce something quickly n gather feedback. Think about whether you should persevere or pivot. Rinse n repeat until you feel that you’re inching closer to the person whom you want people to reminisce during your funeral haha.

Do you need to be riding in a private jet for your life to mean the world to you? 😆