Letting go of material attachments is one of those guidelines that seems to come up in every religious and spiritual text. When I was younger, this concept fell under the list of sins that my grandparents and their churches spoke of and my rebellious nature was filled with disdain. Later I came to understand that restraints are given in spiritual texts to lift up the individual when the pleasures and pains of life become overwhelming; having this structure helps one sustain their growth towards true happiness.

Non-possessiveness is one aspect of yama, or restraint, given by Patanjali in his Yoga Sutras to help the yogi to live in society without losing sight of the spiritual path. The sutra that describes aparigraha is translated by B.K.S. Iyengar as:

“Knowledge of past and future lives unfolds when one is free from greed for possessions.”

In other words, we learn who we truly are when we let go of what we are clinging onto. When I ask myself “who am I?”, it is so hard to come up with an answer outside of the material world. At times, I have been a student, an engineer, a cook, a sister, a wife... but none of that will come with me when I leave this body.

A challenging aspect of this practice is recognizing what truly brings us happiness and what no longer serves us. Does your house, your car, your career, your relationship truly improve your life? What are you holding onto simply because it may be painful to break the attachment, even when peace is on the other side of the pain?

When my spiritual path led me to explore shamanism, I was struck by a common issue healers of different cultures face in their community: sickness and even death are caused by spiritual attacks triggered by envy, jealousy, and resentment. People in the Amazon jungle fear attracting the envidia of their neighbors, in case it leads them to hire a sorcerer to take away their health and happiness. The Italian side of my family knocks wood to prevent sending malocchio, the evil eye, to those they admire. In their culture also, it is a dangerous thing to spend too much time looking at what others have.

It seems to me the best defense to an attack is an offensive one. That is, to avoid flaunting wealth, beauty, success, or whatever other gift one has. Another layer of this is to freely share wealth that goes beyond what we need to live so that our neighbors can also find happiness. This concept feels so opposite to how many people act in the society I live in. Here in the United States many seem to find great pleasure in inciting the envy of their neighbors with a green lawn, flashy car, or new shoes. I am not spending time worrying about a spiritual attack, but I have come to recognize that it gives me much more joy to share what I have with my community. How can we measure success without putting ourselves above and below those around us?

I am finding it increasingly difficult to engage in American society while practicing non-possessiveness. When did so many people begin to admire the influencer? I am not above this. Although I would like to use social media as a tool for connecting to my community, it is challenging to avoid being sucked into the call for materialism and envy of our connections. Go onto Instagram or Facebook and one is flooded with posts advertising courses that will teach you to how to live a happy life, if only you have enough money to support the teacher and the companies they are partnered with.

The line between comfort and true happiness is hard to discern. I am grateful for the abundance I have which keeps me well-fed and stocked with tools that make my life easier. I choose to live in the material world and to keep up with the practice of non-possessiveness, I will need to keep asking what I really want and what I am chasing for a fleeting moment of gratification. Do you feel like you can find more peace by letting go?