172 sats \ 3 replies \ @TwoLargePizzas 3 Apr \ on: I'm growing sick and tired of it, and I'm slowly getting to the end of my wits. mostly_harmless
First of all, there are very few irreversible decisions. In fact, I can only think of three...
- Having kids.
- Committing a serious crime.
- Wasting your life doing nothing.
However, every decision has a cost, including not making a decision. Now, let's imagine 2 scenarios.
Scenario 1... You get a job, work for a year and then quit.
Scenario 2... You spend a year thinking about what the perfect job might be.
In scenario 1 you get some work experience, earn some money, meet some people and still have time to think about your future. When you quit you'll have a better idea of what to do next.
In scenario 2 you might figure out the perfect path forward but you're now further away from achieving it. You have no savings, no experience and nothing to show for your time except thoughts.
The truth is, you are asking the right questions but you need to accept that you don't have all the answers yet. The only way to find the answers is to make decisions and iterate. Try things, see what works and what doesn't and repeat.
- What if it's the wrong decision? Almost every decision you make will be wrong to some degree. The solution is to make them, find out and make better ones.
- I simply don't have that many options left anymore? You always have options. You have more options with money and experience.
- I do know what to do, namely: build a foundation. Define 'foundation'. What does that look like? What's the first step? Take it.
Not making a decision is the silent killer
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"In scenario 1 you get some work experience, earn some money, meet some people and still have time to think about your future. When you quit you'll have a better idea of what to do next."
I know, and that's what I've done so-far, but I have to get a stable job that I want to work long-term, or else my situation could turn for the worse. I'm done with the constant job-hopping.
"Define 'foundation'. What does that look like? What's the first step? Take it."
Find a job in a field that's not only save from digitalisation and automation, but also fulfilling enough to strike a balance which enables me to work long-term, without turning into a bitter asshole a few decades from now.
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I think you should take the time to really question your assumptions and think through the actual consequences of each. In my experience, reality is far less scary than whatever is going on in our minds.
I don't know everything that's going on in your mind or your life but I can tell from your words that many of your thoughts are coming from fear of the unknown.
Let's take a look at some of the assumptions you've already mentioned.
I have to get a stable job
There's no such thing as a "stable job". There are only jobs you can do and jobs you can't do yet. If we look up the meaning of "stable job" it's defined as a position that employees can keep for long periods of time. The problem with this meaning is that there's no way of knowing what "long periods of time" means. Nobody actually knows what's going to happen over decades.
My father had what you'd consider a "stable job" for 20 years. Then one day the company closed down. What happened next? He moved on and got another job. No big deal.
My advice, stop looking for the mythical stable job and focus on building up your skills. Job stability comes from having reasons to hire you. If you have skills, you'll have job stability regardless of how long you work for each company.
I want to work long-term
Do you really want to work long-term? I don't. My ideal goal is to work as little as possible on things I hate and spend more of my time doing the things I love.
Of course, our ideals and reality don't always align. But you can do things to get closer. It takes some self reflection to figure out what you really enjoy doing but the closer you can get to making money doing what you love the less it'll feel like work.
"Choose a job you love, and you'll never have to work a day in your life"
-- Confucius
My situation could turn for the worse
What does that actually mean? I can't answer this one. Only you know what it means but I encourage you to really think through the possible outcomes.
In my experience, reality is usually better than what you think. You think you're going to be homeless, but in reality you'd just move back in with your parents. You think you can't afford rent, but in reality you get a roommate.
Also, the word 'worse' is relative and temporary. If I lost my job today my situation is 'worse' but next week I could find a new job and my situation is suddenly 'better'.
Find a job in a field that's not only save from digitalisation and automation
Okay, first of all, stop letting fear drive your decisions. You don't know what's going to happen in the future, you can't control it and you can't predict it.
The very idea that you think you can find a job that's safe from automation is flawed. It assumes you can even know what a safe job looks like and you can't.
Again, reality is usually better than your worst fears. Many of the jobs that exist today didn't exist a couple of decades ago and the same will be true decades from now.
Focus on next week and next year and stop worrying about next decade. Even if you're right and lots of jobs are replaced by automation it won't happen overnight. You've got time to react and you're not the only one in the same boat. It's not your responsibility to figure everything out right now.
fulfilling enough to strike a balance which enables me to work long-term
Looking for something fulfilling and enjoyable is an excellent idea. But stop trying to force it. Often the most rewarding work comes from play. Have some fun in your spare time, mess around with things you find interesting.
Again, you don't have to have everything figured out immediately. Life is a journey and whatever you decide today is not going to matter much a decade from now. There are very few absolutely life altering decisions.
Don't get me wrong. It's good to have a plan. It's good to think long term. But you need to come to terms with the fact that it's impossible to get it perfect.
turning into a bitter asshole a few decades from now.
I dunno. Being a bitter asshole isn't so bad ;)
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