I don’t want to comment too much on the specifics of your situation, lest I feel I’m psychoanalysing your actions. I just want to share that:

• sometimes, I heave a heavy sigh or shout out a grunt in front of both my kids. Minus the wife ofc! Parenting is the least fun n inconvenient thing ever, and I’m still grieving over the loss of my once-vibrant (haha) social life. you are keeping it very well by not doing it in front of them.
• I find it useful just to zero in on one personal thing I wanna achieve every day. Then if I waste the rest of my leisure time doomscrolling or dazing, so be it. At least I got my one thing done. Today was posting a book review here.
• I think staring blankly at your phone could be your subconscious telling you to slow down process stuff let emotions simmer down n choose the next course of action. So as @siggy47 said, cut yourself PLENTY of slack, go gentle on yourself
• I will gladly down a few drinks with you. Can’t do it in person but will do it in spirit 🍻

Life is tough, but so are you.