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A good consumer product does not require human onboarding

Literally all consumer products require human onboarding. Even the phone your grandma is using required human onboarding

The consumer downloads the app

Someone showed her how to download apps, she didn't get it on her own

the rest should be seamless and intuitive

Learning to use a phone wasn't seamless and intuitive. Neither was opening her first bank account. Neither was learning to clean a home, or do a job, or manage an office, or brush her teeth. Many things are worth doing even though they are not seamless and intuitive to learn, and you make mistakes along the way. Bitcoin is like that.

Expecting bitcoin to surpass all other consumer goods before you'll recommend it to someone seems silly and unnecessary. If there is some aspect that isn't seamless and intuitive, that's fine, that's life. Teach your grandmother. If she can open a bank account, she can move money to an intermediate address. It's not hard, and it's only scary the first time.