again, not a claim that I'm making - but if Lincoln were to allow secession as you suggested, it'd be difficult for him to so without some form of negotiation with the CSA,(which was attempted) and the Confederates opened fire when that was attempted, after Fort Sumter was offered for surrender, with the stated goal of increasing the scope of the conflict.

Additionally, consider again he is only president for 4 months at this time. During this time period, multiple states have seceded. In order to pass laws, Congress must convene. The logistics of 'who is actually in Congress' and 'physically getting to DC to vote' were things that took time in the 1800s. To even decide legally to recognize them would have taken time - they were playing catch up to the Confederates that had already planned in advance before his election.

Yes. Every alternative that you offered to the war was offered in some capacity to the South, either advocated by Lincoln as congressman or president, and was rejected by them (and was actually granted to slave owning states in the North prior to the Emancipation Proclamation).

I sincerely hope that you do, and you consider reading some of the first hand accounts of the individuals who participated in the conflict. Wikisource has a lot of their first hand documents up. When you read the documents of the CSA, it's clear that they did not intend to be an alternative society across the border to the US but to totally replace the Union.