This is Chapter 26 of The Universal Good Deal, you may want to start at the beginning or go back to Chapter 25.

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How it was that the Martians came to the conclusion that the quantity of this imaginary money of theirs was at all important is fascinating, indeed. You see, in their even more primitive past, the Martians used a certain shiny metal as money.

Alien scholars have long debated why the Martians would use something so cumbersome as this metal—called gold—for their money.¹ The prevailing opinion has long been that the Martians actually used gold as a charm against the Evil Eye on account of its shininess and its resemblance—when fashioned into a coin—to the wide-open eye.² However, a new school of historians has contended that there is possibly here an association between gold and the Martian vagina.³

Rather than understanding the circular coin-shape into which the Martians so often manufactured gold as evoking an eye, it is clear to me that the shape actually evoked that center of Martian fertility.

It was the custom among some Martian cultures to mark a wedding—which really was nothing more than a fertility rite—by the exchange of rings of gold into which each member of the couple inserted their finger. It is difficult to imagine a more descriptive symbol of the penetrative act at the center of reproduction. I doubt, at least, that they meant to symbolize poking each other in the eye.

Some scholars have disputed this theory of the symbolism of gold, claiming that the fact that men frequently adorned themselves with gold makes it impossible that it could have been a symbol of the vagina. Though we are discussing a savage culture, it does not mean that they were devoid of all sophistication. It is entirely possible that they recognized in the vagina the Life-Force that was in every living being. And as gold represented Life-Force as typified in the vagina, and not the vagina itself qua vagina, it may have been worn by anyone on any occasion, regardless of sex, on which an addition or a reserve of Life-Force was required.⁴ Indeed, I have now started to collect information on gold as a symbol of the Great Mother and have already amassed a considerable body of new information, with more striking examples in support of 'gold = vagina,' but images are necessary and in this medium, I am of course, not able to present them.⁵

Nevertheless, I believe it was in this manner that the Martians fell into the error of thinking that gold was the groundwork from whence all that was useful emanated.⁶ As Martian society developed, they discovered that it was much more convenient to write each other notes that specified a debt in gold. These paper notes quickly overtook the trade in the actual metal (even Martians did not enjoy lugging around chunks of metal all the time).

Eventually, they abandoned even the pretense that their slips of paper were connected to gold.⁷ However, they were unable to extricate themselves from the ancient connection to fertility, which manifested itself, I believe, in their strange conviction of the need to restrict the supply of their money.

And here, no doubt they would have remained, prisoners to their own pretenses, had it not been for the brilliant mind of Matthew Flinders.

Chapter 26 tomorrow, same time, same place.

There appears to be a certain amount of misapprehension as to the meaning of the cowrie-shell. M A Murray, "The Meaning of the Cowrie-Shell," Man, Volume 39, October 1939 ↩
The shell is actually a charm against the Evil Eye on account of its resemblance--when seen horizontally--to a half-closed eye, the indentations at the mouth of the shell representing the eye-lashes. M A Murray, "The Meaning of the Cowrie-Shell," Man Volume 39, October 1939 ↩
There is possibly here an association between the cowry and the human vulva. C K Meek, “The Meaning of the Cowrie-Shell in Nigeria,” Man, Volume 40, April, 1940 ↩
As it represents Life-Force as typified in the vulva, and not the vulva itself qua vulva, it may be worn by anyone and on any occasion, regardless of sex, on which an addition or a reserve of Life-Force is required. J H Driberg, "The Meaning of the Cowrie," Man, Volume 40, November, 1940 ↩
I have now started to collect information on the cowry as a symbol of the Great Mother and have already amassed a considerable body of new information, with more striking examples in support of 'cowry=vulva,' but photographs are necessary and at present I cannot obtain films. M D W Jeffreys, "Cowry, Vulva, Eye," Man, Volume 42, September - October 1942 ↩
The folly of the students in this noble Art is this, that they set their minds & intentions on nothing but making of ☉ and ☾, & so they fall into this Error, that ☉ & ☾ must be the groundwork from whence must be raised Any goodly piece, but it is false. Isaac Newton, "Manna" Keynes MS. 33, King's college Library, Cambridge University 1704 ↩
I have directed Secretary Connally to suspend temporarily the convertibility of the American dollar. Richard Nixon, “Address to the Nation Outlining a New Economic Policy: ‘The Challenge of Peace’” 15 August 1971 ↩

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Footnotes