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This is the conversation I want to have! You hit a lot of the topics that I've been craving more discussion about because I'm struggling with a lot of the long term implications of some of these things.

Side note:
The only thing you said that I want to push back on is "noncustodial LN is really hard if you're not already a sys admin."
Node solutions from Start9 and Umbrel with apps like Thunderhub and Ride The Lightning are making it quite easy to run a LN node. Sure, it's a half day project to follow along with BTC Sessions on YouTube and set up your node.... and another half day to learn the basics of channel liquidity, etc. But that's it. It's not hard.
You’re right it’s getting easier but channel management is still hard and needs a lot more automation. There’s rebalancing, adjusting fees, running scripts and tools for picking new partners, dealing with closes and other odd errors, tweaking configs to take advantage of new options and best practices. Compare it to a credit card and a bank account.
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