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if someone on the web can steal it, it's actually custodial
Hard disagree. The legal definition of "custodial" generally refers to a situation where an individual or entity is responsible for the care, supervision, or safekeeping of another person or property. There's a lot of things that would fall under your definition of custodial that are clearly not, such as someone generating a private key with one dice roll. Who is the custodian here? Someone on the web can steal it.
The legal definition of "custodial" generally refers to a situation where an individual or entity is responsible for the care, supervision, or safekeeping of another person or property
Just replace the verb with "has":
The accurate definition of custodial is a situation where an individual or entity has another person's property
such as someone generating a private key with one dice roll. Who is the custodian here?
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