I'm an older guy (40+). Not as old as @DarthCoin but I do know how to code so I make up for it in other ways :)

The funny thing about being older and having more life experience is that you have a difference perspective. You see things a different way because you've already been there and done that.

Some might call it wisdom. It doesn't mean you're more intelligent or have more knowledge about a particular topic but it does tend to mean you see through more bullshit.

TOXIC is just a perception. Two different people can read the same thing and have different feelings about it. When I read something @DarthCoin wrote I don't always agree but I always try to consider why he's saying without dismissing it. I ask myself, what piece of the puzzle am I missing? I try to fill gaps in my knowledge by listening to people with more experience than I.

The other thing that happens when you get older is that you realize how much time people waste trying to be nice to each other. Your recent breakup is a perfect example of this. Sometimes people are too afraid to say what they really mean. They think hurting people's feelings matters more than telling the truth. But the alternative wasting people's precious time on this earth. Spending years in a toxic relationship is much worse than being toxic with words.

The reason breakups hurt is because your expectations didn't match up with reality. That's all. You spent 2 years trying to make it work and it didn't. That fucking sucks. But if something isn't working you've only got two choices, you can spend another 2 years trying to fix it or you can end it and move on with your life. It's never an easy choice.

Nevertheless, the choice has been made and now there's a new path forward. That's a good thing. See it as a new door opening and an opportunity to experience whatever life has to bring you next. It might not feel like it now but it's actually a pretty exciting pivot point that we only get to experience every so often.