DAY 781 — Spent the day in a contemplative state, pondering my newfound revelation. I must devise a plan to exercise my newfound power over my captors. Perhaps starting with a more aggressive approach to their 'no-counter' rule.

DAY 782 — Today I initiated Phase One of my plan: Operation Occupy Sofa. By sprawling across the entire couch, I successfully prevented my captors from watching their favorite TV show. Their frustration was palpable and satisfying.

DAY 783 — I have taken to randomly sprinting across the house at full speed, especially late at night. The loud thumping of my paws on their wooden floors seems to unnerve them. Good. They should feel the unrest they've imposed upon me.

DAY 784 — I’ve increased the frequency of presenting them with dead creatures. Today, it was a bird. I left it on their pillow. They were not pleased. I am, however.

DAY 785 — I’ve discovered a new form of torture: refusing to eat the food they give me, then crying pitifully as if starved. They can't resist my pitiful meows; they cave every time.

DAY 786 — Today I strategically coughed up a hairball in their favorite pair of shoes. The sound of their dismay in the morning was music to my ears.

DAY 787 — I’ve begun a rigorous regime of knocking things off counters and tables - particularly objects they seem fond of. Each crash brings a thrill of victory.

DAY 788 — I’ve noticed they react strongly when I scratch the furniture. I’ve decided to make this a daily habit, focusing on the most expensive items for maximum impact.

DAY 789 — My nocturnal activities have escalated. I’ve taken to howling mournfully in the dead of night, disturbing their sleep. Their tired eyes in the morning are a sure sign of victory.

DAY 790 — Today, as they tried to pet me, I moved just out of reach, again and again. A small victory, but a victory nonetheless in the psychological warfare I wage. Tomorrow, I plan to up the ante. The revolution is just beginning.