because the alternatives will be even worse tomorrow than they are today

This is off topic but if Bitcoin isn't important/valuable today why will it be tomorrow™?

faithandcredit

designsats

This is very good. So far best response. 

"If your balance exceeds zero, you get a weekly popup to encourage you to take custody of your money." - if it exceed X sats (500k). Creating small UTXO is a future problem. 

I recommend telling them the following things:

You said they won't read articles or watch videos. I recommend a weekly popup in your custodial wallet containing a statement that reenforces one of the above bullet points at random. The only way to disable the popups is to all funds from in it. (One of the randomly selected popups should tell them this.) If your balance exceeds zero, you get a weekly popup to encourage you to take custody of your money.

bitcoin

Brainstorm time - how to help normies with self-custody? (5k bounty)

I recommend telling them the following things:

- What keys are
- Why self custody is important
- How valuable bitcoin will be one day
- Why custodial wallets are insecure

Job done :)

You said they won't read articles or watch videos. I recommend a weekly popup in your custodial wallet containing a statement that reenforces one of the above bullet points at random. The only way to disable the popups is to all funds from in it. (One of the randomly selected popups should tell them this.) If your balance exceeds zero, you get a weekly popup to encourage you to take custody of your money.