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Shit , I messed up here as well , I have a a lightning close that I accidentally put through at 1sat/vb , and then I used cpfp to bump up the fee . It's not been confirmed for like a week now , but I assumed that it was because of all of this stupid high fees stuff going on . How would you know if it is stuck ? Also , what do you mean "most mempools" , I thought that there is only one mempool?
Each node has its own mempool with its own memory limit (300MB, 1GB, etc). Transactions also take some time to propagate between the nodes, so even same size mempools may have slightly different content.
Maybe check https://mempool.space (possibly over Tor) to see if the original tx-id is still in their pool. But what matters more is whether the original tx is still in the mempools of mining pool operators.
@wiz of mempool.space announced a Transaction Accelerator project but I don't know if it has come online yet.
Bitcoin Core devs are working on "package relay" to help the underpaying txs into the mempools together with their high-fee child, but work is not yet complete.
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