Our Japanese counter part recently transferred a Japanese lady in her 30s who speaks good English to help my team with communication. Through our interactions with her, she often came cross as cold and sometimes even a little bit arrogant. Still I know my team really needs her help and I tried to build a good relationship with her with every opportunity I get.

Last week a few folks from my team were being rotated back to the US and we had a Nomikai with a large group. The lady happened to be seated next to me. I started some casual conversations with her and tried to build some rapport and hear some of her honne. I showed her my wife and kids Halloween pictures and shared some funny stories s when they visited Japan this summer. She started to open up a little bit and shared some of her personal experiences. I thought we had some good conversations. At one point her boss, a Japanese man in late 50s, came over to our table and put his arm around my shoulder cracked a few jokes with us and told me that she’s still single and I should help her to find a boyfriend. Jokingly I pointed to one of my team members who was sitting at another table and told her boss and her that xxx is single. xxx - the guy I was pointing to is a Hispanic American fyi.

I couldn’t believe what I heard next. The lady turned around, looked at xxx, turned back and said in English “I only date Caucasians.”

For a moment I thought she was joking and then realized she wasn’t. I think I had my mouth wide open for a few seconds. I didn’t know what to respond and I just laughed awkwardly and said Ohhh OK. xxx was too far away to hear our conversation otherwise it’s be even more awkward. I changed the topic and started to talk about something else.

Add this one to the list of bizarre experiences through my years in Japan.