It was basically a situation where I was leading a group of people who needed me, and the nature of how my teams work is that the personal relationships are very real and strong. And so it genuinely felt amazing, even as it was exhausting, to be helping them. I felt like what I did mattered on a personal level, and it's crazy how affirming that is, how it will hold you up. You will chew through barbed wire when it's for people you care about and they care about you and appreciate your efforts.

But, to paraphrase Lyn, you still take damage from that, even if you're so amped up you don't feel it for months and months. And then, after a year and a half, you just ... start to crumble. And bc everyone else has also been in this crucible, they crumble with you, and suddenly it's hell, and you don't have that force field anymore. Gradually then suddenly, as it were.

I've been in a couple startups, and the feeling was similar, though I wasn't right in the crosshairs of it. My free advice is that it's okay to give yourself to SN, or whatever else; but be alert to your foundation, that you might not notice at first (e.g., physical health, nutrition, exercise, relationships w/ family and friends outside of your immediate passion) that keep you alive and sane.

You can neglect the fundamentals for a while, but the house wins in the end.