Here's a hard truth:
Sometimes, you can work really hard on something — giving it everything that you have — and yet it still doesn't work out the way you had hoped.
It doesn't mean that you did anything wrong. It doesn't mean that you didn't try hard enough. It doesn't mean that you didn't want it badly enough. It doesn't mean that you're not good enough. It actually doesn't mean anything. It just happens sometimes.
This reality turns into pain because of an insidious element of Old Happy culture: the myth that achievement = worthiness.
We have grown up being taught that if you just work hard enough, everything will work out exactly as you hope. You earn your worth through what you achieve.
But if it doesn't work out, it's your fault: you were inadequate, flawed, or just plain lazy. You did not earn your worth because you did not achieve.
That's where self-talk like, "If only I had worked harder," or "I have to hide this from others, it's so embarrassing," or "I really must be a failure, just like I always worried about," comes from.
Struggles, setbacks, and outright failures are just an inevitable part of the human experience. When they happen to you, remind yourself: you're okay as you are and you will be okay after this, too. That's what will help you to keep moving forward.