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Here's a hard truth: Sometimes, you can work really hard on something — giving it everything that you have — and yet it still doesn't work out the way you had hoped.
It doesn't mean that you did anything wrong. It doesn't mean that you didn't try hard enough. It doesn't mean that you didn't want it badly enough. It doesn't mean that you're not good enough. It actually doesn't mean anything. It just happens sometimes.
This reality turns into pain because of an insidious element of Old Happy culture: the myth that achievement = worthiness.
We have grown up being taught that if you just work hard enough, everything will work out exactly as you hope. You earn your worth through what you achieve.
But if it doesn't work out, it's your fault: you were inadequate, flawed, or just plain lazy. You did not earn your worth because you did not achieve.
That's where self-talk like, "If only I had worked harder," or "I have to hide this from others, it's so embarrassing," or "I really must be a failure, just like I always worried about," comes from.
Struggles, setbacks, and outright failures are just an inevitable part of the human experience. When they happen to you, remind yourself: you're okay as you are and you will be okay after this, too. That's what will help you to keep moving forward.
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Just curious, are you the author of this newsletter? If so, you could maybe incorporate LN tipping on your page... it'd be nice to reach 900,000+ people ;)
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It actually doesn't mean anything. It just happens sometimes.
It doesn't always mean anything.
If only I had worked harder
IMO this isn't worth grouping with the others. It's plausibly rational.
Own and accept your failures as par for the course - good. But if you have an interest in getting better, you probably shouldn't excuse yourself from studying why you failed.
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It's always a learning experience.
You need to always strive to do your best.
Sometimes things click and you win, sometimes you learn.
But if you keep pushing forward, you never lose.
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you've seen the past... be ready for the future
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Infamy, infamy (they've all got it in for me)!
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My crazy writings and grammar (she's okay thank you) would stick out like a sore thumb elsewhere.
Got lots of time on my hands, an active imagination and meditating on the ever-expanding rabbit-hole - what's not to like.
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