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@nerd2ninja inspired me to concoct this totally plausible scenario.
I shared it in the comments of another post but copying to it's own post for better reach. Sats forwarded to Nerd for the prompting the idea and being a generous tipper.
Adam Back applying for a technical support position at Coinbase.
Recruiter: "What makes you a good candidate for our tech support team"
Adam: "Well I am in the friggin bitcoin white paper. What else do I need to say"
Recruiter: "Ok sir, no need to be hostile. Unfortunately, the bitcoin whitepaper is a banned document here at coinbase, do you have any other accomplishments you would like us to take into account".
Adam: "Well I essentially created the framework for proof of work with my HashCash project"
Recruiter: Yikes, proof of work. We don't use that kind of language around here but this HashCash sounds promising! Sounds like the kind of project we might list. Is it an ERC-20 token?
Adam: No, it's not a shitcoin and even if it was I wouldn't build it on that stupid shit Vitalik's chain. That skinny Russian was barely out of diapers when I was working on it.
Recruiter: Sir, we are a tolerant company here at coinbase but one thing we cannot accept is taking Lord Vitalik's name in vain. We owe everything to him. After all, I couldn't be a pudgy penguin on twitter and hold 438 different coins in my metamask wallet if it wasn't for what he has built.
Adam: That's fucking stupid. Do I get the job or not.
Recruiter: Sir unfortunately we couldn't locate the person you listed as a reference. Someone named "satoshi". Which wouldn't have been a deal breaker but then our "safety" department noticed you have laser eyes in your twitter profile instead of an nft and we don't allow any sort of toxicity in this organization. Our employees are a community that supports each other on our mission to rug, I mean serve 1 billion customers. We can't have a bitcoin maximalist on the staff making them feel unsafe. We wish you all the best on your hashcoin, please consider listing with us when it is done. Have a nice day.
Adam: What a fucking waste of time. Go fuck yourself!
Looking at the billions of dollars Coinbase has lost over the last few years on frivolius things, I wouldn't doubt it. They should be so far ahead in the bitcoin game by now, but instead of doing anything like that, they sell the fake narrative in commercials. The company is such a letdown. I hope NYDIG nabs the custodian position away from them for the BlackRock ETF.
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I hit zap for every giggle this gave me lmao. However, this is just not how Adam Back talks lmao
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I know. I took artistic license on that.
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Sweet nice read!
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