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Nextcloud is what I've been using for a while, it does much more than this but I find the calendar tools very useful. Not hard to self host. Its open source and free.
What do you host on?
Right now on a TruNAS server VM. I'm using Docker though. There are many ways to self-host Nextcloud.
The ideal is to have your own CalDAV server. Radicale and SabreDAV are great. Just choose one and set it up in a few minutes.
Then on your phone, install DavX5 which is an android app to sync with CalDAV/CardDAV. Your local calendar app will be able to read from that.
Then for desktop, Thunderbird is a nice client that connects to CalDAV.
And that's pretty much it. That way you will have your own calendar and contacts (and files), on your own server.
This sounds a little tricky for someone that just uses an iPhone? Although with all the fuss lately with apple I’m tempted to make the jump over
What are the best calendar/organization apps or tools that people use to coordinate your week? Bonus points for tools that can be shared with someone else to coordinate schedule for the week with my wife.