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I would argue direct messages should never be assumed to be private messages. ESPECIALLY on a social media site. I've never trusted Twitter or Facebook DMs. That is what needs to change. Something not being public doesn't mean it is secret. Of course Nostr is not really ready for the type of folks you are referring to. I don't expect normies to be on it for a long time. And that's good. Its new and rapidly changing.
Facebook:
https://i.postimg.cc/Pq27PdQs/IMG-5174217-A92-C3-1.jpg
Learn more link:
https://www.facebook.com/help/messenger-app/786613221989782
They're clearly investing a lot in it. Like it or not, normies are becoming used to their DMs on social media platforms being secure. iMessage, WhatsApp, Signal, etc
They are getting used to being told their DMs are secure. That is my point.
The solution is to educate. If it isn't open source you are just trusting the company.
Also secure is different from private. The messages probably are secure, in that they info isn't leaked. But I don't trust these social media platforms. Like bitcoin, not your keys not your messages.
With all the big social media apps rolling out E2E encrypted DMs, people will just naturally assume that DMs are private. While you are correct, I do not expect noobs and first timers to know that Nostr DMs are horribly broken.