Just what the world needed, a bitcoin version of babylon bee. I give the article a 5/10 but 10/10 for the writer being named Max Shaft.

(They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother)

Talking about how to get money out as soon as possible before everything collapses

"It's nice to work with something more functional than the Ethereum chain,"

I died there

I do like this line:
"Buterin was planning to Shanghai more than just the Ethereum chain."