This might be better than my theory that Satoshi is Michael Jordan.

We have conducted an extensive and in depth investigation and can reveal that Satoshi’s real name is:

Amy Jade Winehouse

The British Connection

In Bitcoin’s first block of transactions, Satoshi embedded text from a newspaper headline: “The Times 03/Jan/2009 Chancellor on brink of second bailout for banks.” The headline in question appeared in The Times of London’s British print edition, as opposed to the online or international edition, which had a slightly different headline, because it included the chancellor's name: “Alistair Darling”. This is strong evidence that Satoshi is British.

Winehouse died in 2011

Winehouse sadly passed away in London on 23 July 2011, at the age of 27. Three months prior to this, on 26 April 2011, Satoshi sent her last known communication.

The timeline lines up perfectly. Satoshi stopped communicating just before she died. This explains why all the messages and communication suddenly stopped. This also explains why Satoshi never spent any of the coins she supposedly mined in 2009, because she passed away.

Support from Bitcoin OGs

Amy’s claim to be Satoshi is even supported by one of Bitcoin most OG developers, Matt Corallo. Corallo first contributed to the Bitcoin codebase in March 2011, a few months before Amy/Satoshi passed away. In 2024 Corallo stated that Winehouse was his “favorite Satoshi”.

Intellect

Winehouse was regarded as “highly intelligent”, as Juliette Ashby, Amy’s lifelong friend from the age of four, put it in a 2025 interview: “her intelligence astounded me”.

“She was so intelligent for her age,” she recalls. “She was reading all the time…not children’s books, adult books. Always had her head down reading. Her intelligence astounded me as kids.”

Bitcoin is also a complex system, involving mathematics, computer science, economics, game theory, cryptography and finance.

Libertarian Views

Winehouse was a notable user of illegal recreational drugs. It is therefore reasonable to assume that Winehouse opposed the laws banning drug usage, rules that she breached. Legalising drugs is a libertarian position. Libertarians tend to believe that people should be free to do whatever they like, as long as it does not violate the rights of any non-consenting third party. This includes the right to take drugs, which doesn't do any harm to anyone else, except the user.

I'm jealous I didn't write this article.*