Ready dads?
Start your miners and get ready to groan.

I hope I don't make a complete hash of this...

1. One of our mining technicians insisted on coming in to work today, even though he’s got the flu.
   He’s A-SIC man.
2. CleanSpark just signed Snoop Dogg as their latest client!
   He heard about their high hash rates and joined on the spot.
3. What’s the difference between a Secret Service agent and a bitcoin miner?
   One tries to block a hit, and the other tries to hit a block.
4. Trent Reznor has announced his intention to record a new bitcoin-mining themed album.
   The Nonce Inch Nails World Tour kicks off in summer 2026.
5. A friend of mine got a new puppy last week.
   He’s calling it Bitmain because it won’t stop whining.
6. I know an extremely introverted founder in the Bitcoin space.
   He mined his own business.
7. What is a bitcoin miner's favourite breakfast?
   UT-Eggs-O and pie à la node with a cup of extremely high cofees.
8. Did you hear about the ASIC tech who fell in love with an Antminer S23?
   He engraved ‘mine forever’ onto the side.
9. Did you hear that the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission refused to allow miners access to their latest big hydro project?
   They couldn't give a dam.
10. Stevie Nicks has joined forces with Apple computers to fund a biomass mining operation.
    Fleet Wood-Mac has yet to hit a block.
11. This weekend, the heavyweight title is on the line at WrestleMinia XXI.
    Rig Flair is going head to head with Dwayne ‘the Block’ Johnson.
12. What do you get if you cross a Canaan Avalon with Count Dracula?
    Some very costly vBites.
13. Why did Mrs. Miner have a steamy affair with Mr. Timechain?
    Every time he got block hard, he could last around 10 minutes.
14. Miley Cyrus and Nicky Minaj have started a new dance craze after performing on stage at Mining Disrupt.
    Their video, 'Proof of Twerk', has garnered over 21 million views on YouTube.
15. Foundry got into hot water this week after firing new employees Megatron and Optimus Prime.
    It turns out the Transformers were not compatible with current company infrastructure.
16. BREAKING: A fleet of mining rigs in Europe have formed a Bitcoin choir.
    Braiins technicians have been tasked with perfecting the autotune before their first big concert.
17. Why do mining conference tickets sell out so quickly?
    Because they have so many fans.
18. A new movie about the rise of Texas mining firms is scheduled for release this fall:
    Austin Power XXI stars Mine Myers, Segwit Sweeney, LL Cooling J, and Pool Rudd.
19. I’ve been keeping my grandfather’s gold watch on the floor of our data center.
    That way, all our machines are overclocked.
20. Why did the bitcoin miner fire his second accountant?
    He realized he’d been double-spending.
21. Harrison Ford is consulting with Bitaxe on a new Star Wars/Bitcoin mining crossover project, Han Solo Miner.
    Supporting characters UTXO, P2P2, Chewstacker, and Data Vader will also feature in the film.

I'll see myself out.

Think you can do better. I sincerely hope so!
Make me laugh with a (non AI) mining joke, and I'll zap you some sats.