I just wrote this post (80 year old lady in Canada euthanized against her will) and the comment by @winteryeti made me think (#1421584). Basically, it's along the lines of - don't underestimate how difficult it is to care for a person with dementia, or similar.
I can agree with that, not from first hand experiences, but definitely lots of friends are in this situation. Here's what I wrote in the comments
I haven't been there myself, but I've had friends in this situation. Most friends, actually, are currently dealing with one or both parents in serious cognitive or physical decline. Mostly cognitive, it seems like.
It's easy to say that you should take care of the aged yourself. But I've also seen some situations where 3 generations are in one household, the grandparents are getting senile, and their grandchildren are not at all kind. And everybody just (secretly or not so secretly) wishes they would die.
I just talked to a friend. His mother, at ate 93, decided she didn't want to live anymore. Her health was okay, for a 93 year old. She was taking multiple medications, she stopped those, and also stopped eating. My friend tried to convince her to eat, but she refused. She died within 10 days.
And honestly, I don't think that's a horrible outcome. She chose her own time, didn't ask anyone else's permission or help, and died relatively quickly. She had friends and family around her, who cared for her. With more medical treatments, she could have lasted another few years, perhaps. But would they be years you'd care to live?
Anyone have a plan like this? I think the "not eating or drinking" is always there and available. You'd definitely need to do it while you were still able to think and plan.
This is how things used to be, and that made older folks more of an asset than a burden, they could spend time and teach things to grand/great-grand children. Help around the house and light tasks. This gave them a will to live. There were also more caregivers that didn't have to go out of their way and could share the burdensome parts so the aged didn't lose their will by feeling like a burden.
The rat race of modernity broke up the multi-generational household, dual income no kids or having kids later in life, leaving older folks no purpose, just to become a cost to the family in an assisted living facility.
The pharmaceutical complex made it even worse, treating acute symptoms while degrading overall wellness and independence.
The conditions above combine to take the will to live before the body is ready, a compounding spiral that makes the family miserable and thus the aged even more so.
There's worse outcomes sure, maybe, the sad part everything that lead up to her losing that will to live.
My grandmother just had her 100th Christmas, lives independently, but that will is fading fast... the woman has lost her husband, siblings, friends, and oldest son... there's not much the rest of us can do about that despite our efforts to make sure she knows well her great grandkids. She has a DNR, I know others who's grandparents have just asked doctors for a little extra morphine which seems to be fairly common in hospice settings.
We are hearing people bring this up more today than 10 years ago but it's still pretty rare. I think we have been conditioned to think modernity is always progress. I am convinced we are largely clueless about what we have lost. The tradeoffs. The balance of benefits and deficits.
I'm very individualistic but as I mature I am learning what we have lost due to our rejection of tradition and family. It feels like we are peaking in this with the political division you see I families. It's absurd to me, but I think it's becoming more common.
I beleive this destruction of the family and traditional social structure has driven people to embrace socialistic ideas. The state becomes you family. However those ties are weak and do not fill the gap.
What you say is true but the nature of technology has resulted in humans needing to operate in larger and larger groups to optimise the potential wealth and security that can result from being in a group.
The family while still biologically and emotionally valid is no longer a potent economic unit.
It was when farming was done by a family and farming was the most common occupation.
That world no longer exists in the developed world.
The nation state, and its collective capacity to build security and economic scale, like it or hate it is more important to the wealth of people than ever before.
And most people want wealth . . . as much as they can get.
McCarthy was right about everything.
this. 100%
Yep, also demographics are also a driver. In 1940 when you have 5 siblings, its not an overwhelming burden to collectively care for your aged mother.
In 2026 when there are just 2 kids who live in different cities (due to rat-race economic factors), its an overwhelming burden thus care homes are needed.
Added to that, Social Security also drove people to have less kids since "having 5 kids" was the original SS.
Yea policy and culture effected demographics, self reinforcing doom loop... Losing multi generational housing makes kids more of a burden too without grandparents to help
This isn't discussed often enough. It has profound implications for family dynamics.
I often counsel people to start having kids sooner rather than later, in part because it means they'll become grandparents at a younger age but also because it allows their parents to become grandparents when they're younger.
Becoming a grandparent in your early 50's is very different than becoming a grandparent in your 70's.
Yea we definitely fell into the waiting a trap for awhile, and would surely have more had we started a bit earlier. Fortunately our parents are still getting good times and we have a good chance to as well.
Much of that was always knowing we'd homeschool, which the system is absolutely designed to repress.
I don't think I'd stop eating, or ever seek medically assisted suicide, but I can see myself refusing treatments and letting a disease take its course.
One thing I want to make clear to my family is that if I am mentally incapacitated, I want to give them full freedom to make decisions about my care. Yes, I suppose it can be abused, but I trust my family, and I don't want them to be burdened by unreasonable demands.
So, yeah, my general thoughts are:
Act now.
Avoid micro plastics especially in your clothing and bedding.
Move to all natural fibres.
Prioritise good sleep and diet...again primarily with natural unprocessed foods.
It's tough to do this planning well ahead of time because we don't know what we'll want once we're in those situations.