Japanese graduation ceremonies = sob fest. The ceremony is so well orchestrated, emotions get evoked ever so often and approach fever pitch and when they reach a crescendo, Bang! the dam bursts open. Students AND teachers start crying.

I don’t like it, I remember telling my closest Japanese Teacher of English, I think graduation ought to be a joyous occasion. What I didn’t tell her was that I find this whole sob fest thingy fake and manipulative.

It’s the Japanese way, I remember her replying me lightly. Maybe she knew how I really felt.

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Now, with a few more years of life experience under my belt, I feel I gotta hand it to the Japanese. As with all things, there is a timing in regards to graduation, one of the biggest milestones in a junior high school student’s life. And they are just being precise and efficient in how they deal with their feelings - as always.

What I realise now is that graduation ceremonies are a form of cathartic release for the teacher himself.

Words cannot adequately convey the tremendous sense of relief (and quiet pride) I felt when this boy came late for graduation. He didn’t even hit 40% for his attendance, but no matter. Him being here was symbolic of the fact that I had done everything I could to keep him in school, to prevent him from slipping through the cracks, to try and keep him safe.

And then there are the kids who didn’t turn up for graduation. Of course, as a veteran teacher, I know better than to take their absence personally. Especially when one of the absentees wrote in the class chat group out of the blue: “Thank you for everything. I really do appreciate it.” He has turned sullen, stubborn and (dare I say it?) selfish of late - as many teenagers tend to do - and for him to let down his armour is a huge gesture on his part. In fact, I’m recording this down as a reminder to myself that I should message him sometime in 2019 to say thank you in return.

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Graduation has come and gone, but sometimes the well of feelings surfaces, catalysing me to make sense of my rollercoaster time with the form class. But I think I will still say “no, thank you” to Japanese graduation ceremonies, for I don’t want my feelings to be switched on and off at will. Check back with me regarding my opinion on this a few years down the road (after I mature like a bottle of exquisite fine sake).