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But wouldn't anything else negate the gift, deny the giver the pleasure of giving? I'm not enough of a giver to know.
When I think about what I'd like KK to say, it would be something like:
"A family in the Phillippines living in a shack opened their last can of tinned meat as a banquet for me. I regaled them with tales about my recent trip through their country, including some comical communication mishaps at a laundromat. I asked about their lives, learned about what each of them was doing, paid close attention to their answer. When I left the next day I gave them a postcard that I'd picked up in Malaysia of a place I'd visited the previous month, with a Haiku I made up commemorating the visit."
Actually I don't wish he'd said that, that's awkward and stupid, but you get the idea -- fuss over them, basically. Attend to them, make a point of making them feel special. And maybe he does that, and it's so obvious that he does that that he doesn't bother to note it, just like he doesn't note that he wipes his ass after he shits. But I wish he gave some indication of that sentiment.
I get this. The closure of reciprocating. It's my reflex too. But wouldn't anything else negate the gift, deny the giver the pleasure of giving? I'm not enough of a giver to know.
If I were them, I think what I'd want is for people to join me on the side of the givers, to cause some cascade of giving. It's got to be lonely. (Everything is lonely.)