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Parenting
1145 sats \ 7 comments \ @cryotosensei 14h Education
If I have to think of an analogy for parenting, the battle for survival between the python and cobra (a 12-hour real life incident that hogged headlines in my country) comes to mind.
Wah, so dramatic.
My son and I were at the Tomica specialty shop yesterday. He fell prey to the assembly factory gimmick. Apparently, for ¥900, he could actively assemble his choice of Toyota (under the watchful guidance of a staff member, of course). Since this experience won’t be replicated in Singapore, I happily paid for it. And took a video of his entire involvement to boot.
This happy tale drastically switched tone. This morning, he playfully put his Toyota inside a coin locker outside the JR station. We have enough experience to predict what would happen next, but he hadn’t the faintest clue. Anyway, the lock slammed shut. He asked me to help. I couldn’t retrieve it even if I had a million bucks to spare because I didn’t have the QR code that would grant me access to that locker.
In a split instant, pride and joy of spending transformed into anger. But it isn’t so much about the waste of money. To me, it’s about the emotional energy I had to expend throughout the process. A million questions raced through my mind like a tornado whizzing through the land. How accountable did I need to hold him to be? How much of my unbridled fury did I need to filter before I responded to him? Did he get to buy another Tomica toy today or should I stew the purchase in hopes that he would internalise today’s lesson? All these required decision-making, which was something my free-spirited self didn’t gravitate towards.
Add to this a twist. He might be angry with me because I was angry with him. What on earth has parenting come down to these days?!
So, I think you can understand my analogy now. One moment, I’m a harmless python just innocently slithering through the woods. Out of the blue, I am struck by a deadly cobra. Before I know it, I’m caught in a deadly battle between logic and emotion, between unleashing my disappointment and regulating my self. This parenting endeavour is no fun.
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50 sats \ 0 replies \ @Scoresby 7h
My own experience of parenting is also full of these difficult questions. The world has sharp edges and the process of teaching your children about those edges is no fun.
The cliche is touching a hot stove. You can prevent them from touching the hot stove, but then they might not learn to avoid it and when confronted later with something bigger and hotter, with higher stakes, where touching may mean more than a little burn, having actually touched the hot stove becomes invaluable.
That analogy is probably not the best, but one of the most necessary and difficult parts of parenting is allowing your children to learn these kinds of lessons. Our instincts are to shield them from all badness, all unpleasantness, all unfairness. But probably, such shielding is not good.
The baby who frequently falls down probably learns to walk faster than the baby whose parents always catch her.
And yet, being able to provide a do-over to our children when they're heart is broken is such a wonderful thing -- I can only occasionally resist.
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21 sats \ 0 replies \ @Undisciplined 8h
I think about that whole set of reaction options, too.
Where I've come down is that it's fine for your kids to know when they've done something that annoyed or angered or disappointed you. That's a huge part of the feedback they get on how their behavior is received by others. However, we have to be diligent in keeping our emotional responses appropriate and letting them know something isn't their fault if they couldn't have known better.
I wouldn't have purchased a replacement toy, if there were reason for your kid to know not to do what they did.
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22 sats \ 1 reply \ @SimpleStacker 14h
I often think about how kids make dumb mistakes because the lack the experience to know better, and how that lack of experience is also what makes them unafraid of new tech and willing to try things out.
Old people get stuck in their ways, perhaps because they've been conditioned to think that other ways are dangerous.
Anyway, I don't know how coin lockers work, but how was he able to put it into an open public locker that you weren't able to subsequently open? If he was able to put it in, doesn't that mean you should also be able to take it out?
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @grimtechnet 9h
I also wonder how the coin lockers work.
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21 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby 14h
Kids do dumb stuff sometimes. Best you can do is try to get them to learn from their mistakes.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @OT 9h
You can't get it back? I'm sure this happens often enough for them to have a camera and for you to contact someone to make a claim.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ek 11h
If I have to think of an analogy for parenting, the battle for survival between the python and cobra (a 12-hour real life incident that hogged headlines in my country) comes to mind.
Who won?
This parenting endeavour is no fun.
I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I'm sure you will be able to laugh about all of this in what will feel like no time
In the meantime, I wish you good luck, and hope for many more funny stories for me.
Do you still need money for diapers btw?
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