I respect your conviction, Darth, honestly. And you're right, my wording was poor - obviously this isn't 'holding' Bitcoin. But "how to get exposure to Bitcoin through a proxy which us maximalists know is a poor substitute for the real thing but which I believe will convert some nocoiners in the long run" doesn't roll off the tongue.

Ultimately, I don’t disagree with the end goal: freedom through Bitcoin. Where we differ is on tactics. I see these new ETNs as a bridge for the average person who isn’t ready to go full self-custody yet. Most won’t jump straight from fiat to cold storage - they need a path. If a few of them cross that bridge and end up learning what “holding Bitcoin” really means, I’ll count that as a win.