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105 sats \ 1 reply \ @SimpleStacker 3h \ on: I wrote an essay for English class about bitcoin in San Diego the_stacker_muse
Great work!
Sorry, it's a little too long for me to read carefully now, but here are a few comments from the first few paragraphs
payments networks exclude people from using them with bias towards their sex, religion, or what they may have said on social media that week.
This is a pretty strong claim that probably needs to be backed up with some evidence or citation.
On October 31st, 2008 an anonymous person or persons under the pseudonym Satoshi Nakamoto proposed a solution via a white paper: Bitcoin: A Peer-to-Peer Electronic Cash System (Nakamoto)
just say "person" instead of "person or persons", for readability. Also, no need for (Nakamoto) at the end of the title.
network run purely by volunteers
not entirely true, as miners are rewarded bitcoin for their efforts
Hal Finney became the second (to Satoshi) person to join the network
no need for (to Satoshi) in parantheses
Since then, the Bitcoin network and ideals have permeated nearly every corner of the world. Now there are hundreds of thousands of people “running bitcoin” and millions in the world using it every day to solve real-world problems
This would be a great time to bring up its uptime too! Very impressive for something not controlled by any single entity.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @SatAttack OP 3h
Thank you!! I will make those changes for easier readability. Where I wrote (Nakamoto) I was citing the white paper or attempting to bring attention to the white paper in my works cited. Did I do it incorrectly or do you think it’s just not necessary?
I really appreciate it!
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