Water doesn't meet the criteria to the degree that silver does. The criteria measure the value of things against other things. Everything fits the criteria that is a thing. 

But there is such a thing as negative value too, described most lucidly by Kafka in The Trial.

fourrules

econ

What bitcoin taught me: Value is not subjective

> only the judgment of an individual

The whole world slips through this hole. 

Your properties of objective value are broad enough that darn near anything fits in them. 

But more than this: value is just a way of talking about how much people want a thing. That's why I don't buy any kind of idea that value is objective or can be narrowed down very much. It's always dependent on real people in real circumstances...which are hugely variable. 