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1048 sats \ 40 comments \ @ek 10h AskSN

Apparently, when I was still in school and drunk, I once danced around a fire, played air guitar, singing songs from Billy Talent, and my friends had to stop me from jumping over the fire before I hurt myself

I don’t remember any of this, all I remember is that I told the girl I was into at the time that I’m creating the best playlist ever. But she probably didn’t even understand me, because I was so drunk I couldn’t even sit, I was just lying on the ground lol

So I still don’t know if any of this actually happened and my friends weren’t just messing with me the next day haha

Maybe there are more stories, but that’s the first one that came to my mind.

What’s yours?

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1068 sats \ 6 replies \ @k00b 7h

wildest 1

From age 19-21, I lived in a motel behind a mexican restaurant. One day after my shift as grocery clerk, my best friend, a bagger at the same grocery store, and I bought a couple 40's of Mickey's. We got sloshed.

His mom called and asked him to pickup baby formula for his one-year-old daughter. He said he couldn't drive, and I didn't have a car or valid license¹, but I told him I could drive his ancient Volvo stationwagon² if he wanted.

After successfully dropping off the baby formula, we stopped at a light turning left onto the main road of our rural California farming town (population of 30k). The light turned green and I turned, neglecting an oncoming truck that slammed on its brakes and made contact with our front right bumper. I panicked, kept driving, and the truck pursued.

I turned off the main road, speeding down farm lined country roads all way back to my motel room, the truck pursuing us all the way. We parked, hopped out of the car, and ran into my motel room. We kept the lights off, hoping they'd lose interest, considering leaving through the bathroom window to make a run for it.

Then the cops showed up. I didn't want to come out. Then the cops started knocking. I still didn't want to come out. My friend pleaded, "it's my car, they know it's my car, I can't lose my license." He went out, hands in the air, and I followed. He told them everything. I confirmed his story, yelled "how convenient!" to the hit-and-run victim for some fucking reason, and was arrested.

After my photoshoot, I was taken to a lights-out cell with two guys sleeping in it. One of them looked up from his pillow, "first time?" I ate the leftovers of one of their dinners, drank a thimble of water from a broken fountain, and sat against a wall waiting to get let out.

They let me out the next morning and I walked home.

wildest 2

A friend's mom did a lot of entertaining and had a large wet bar. I was freshly fourteen and thought it'd be fun to show up drunk to school. I took 12 shots of Jose Cuervo before boarding our usual city bus to school. I puked twice on the way - once in the middle of the ride, and once just as we stopped at school, all over the rear stairs. ah, that's better.

My friend walked, and I stumbled, to our usual in-between-bells hangout spot where I showed off my drunkenness to our other friends.

The bell rang but I was feeling too sick to go, so I sat near a bush, waiting for the nausea to clear. A hall monitor woke me from my "nap" inside the bush, torso concealed, feet and legs sticking out.

I couldn't walk so they put me in wheelchair and took me into the principle's office. I lied and told them I had food poisoning. I puked in the middle of the principle's office. They called an ambulance.

The ER debated pumping my stomach but just gave me an IV IIRC. I wouldn't have a hangover to show for it.

it was impounded because I was caught blowing through a stop sign with a license that was six months suspended for unpaid speeding tickets. ↩
the car had a huge sidewall bubble in one of the tires that was a hazard to drive as is. ↩

77 sats \ 0 replies \ @k00b 7h

'wildest 3' would probably be the second water tower that I climbed to graffiti

'wildest 4' would be the first billboard I climbed to graffiti a green apple over a banker's face (by my pocked memory, it was an IMF/world banker, but that hardly makes sense)

36 sats \ 2 replies \ @ek OP 7h

I love stories from young(er) @k00b

I confirmed his story, yelled "how convenient!" to the hit-and-run victim for some fucking reason, and was arrested.

lol, maybe you were still trying to confuse them and run away

They let me out the next morning and I walked home.

no other consequences? or was it not really hit and run because there was no "real" accident?

I took 12 shots of Jose Cuervo

😳

how long did it take you to write this? 👀

55 sats \ 0 replies \ @k00b 5h

how long did it take you to write this? 👀

idk maybe as little as 30 minutes, as much as an hour.

I love stories from young(er) @k00b

the main benefit of being a shithead are all the stories

69 sats \ 0 replies \ @k00b 7h

no other consequences? or was it not really hit and run because there was no "real" accident?

No real accident/damage to the victim’s car.

I got a DUI (felony I think … caused problems on background check when IBM acquired my last employer). I had to go to court, take a class, pay 3-months worth of motel rent as a fine, but otherwise got time served.

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @adlai 29m

drank a thimble of water from a broken fountain,

that's not enough

8 sats \ 0 replies \ @k00b 21m

I placed an order for an Evian but it never showed up :)

100 sats \ 1 reply \ @HardMoney 4h

One of many (I’ve been sober for 6 years now):

Blacked out and somehow woke up in a strangers house getting arrested by the cops for trespassing the next morning. The homeowners found me passed out on their couch. I was materially unresponsive so they phoned the police.

Got charged with some minor crimes and was super lucky there weren’t worse consequences (being shot for breaking in to a persons home or getting a more serious criminal charge). Very fortunate in hindsight

I’ve always lacked the natural “kill switch” people have with liquor and would end up in unpredictable / dangerous situations. Can confidently say 95% of mistakes I’ve made in life were due to booze related decisions.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @adlai 32m

One of many (I’ve been sober for 6 years now):

There ain't enough sats on-chain for this zap; staying true to yourself is worth more than any tokens, credits, or even the medallions. Don't get me wrong, I'm not disrespecting the work people put in to get them; however, their value stems from an entire social effort, and not just from some nice embossment... things probably obvious to folks this far away from the proverbial checkbook.

118 sats \ 5 replies \ @grayruby 9h

Too many to count. There is a reason I haven't had a drink in over 11 years.

61 sats \ 4 replies \ @ek OP 9h

You don’t need to count them, only share one 👀

157 sats \ 3 replies \ @grayruby 8h

I fractured my elbow trying to move a patio table when I was drunk and smoking a cigar. One of my friends in the building next door to the one I lived in was getting rid of it and I asked if I could have it for our building's rootop deck. She said "sure just come take it whenever you want". Well I picked a stupid time to take it at like 2am after I was at the bar with my friends. I got home and was smoking a cigar (I tended to do that after I drank a lot) and thought what the hell I will go get the table now.

Table wasn't too big or heavy and was easy to move for one person but her patio was towards the back of the building and the ground was elevated so there was maybe a 2.5-3 foot high curb you had to get down from to get access the parking lot to walk along the driveway and off the property. It was not very high at all so I decided I would just jump down with the table rather than putting the table down, getting down and then pick the table back up. Needless to say in my state I did not account for the additional mass I was carrying in front of me when I jumped and gravity did it's work. I tried to brace myself in time but landed directly on my elbow. It hurt but I didn't notice how bad it was right away. I got up, picked but the table, dropped it off on the rooftop deck and went to bed.

When I woke up I couldn't move my arm and had to physically move it with my other arm. I thought that's weird maybe it's dislocated or something. Anyways I went back to sleep and figured I would give it some time and see if it got better. I was supposed to have a meeting that day but I rescheduled it. By around 4pm I was getting these sharp shooting pains randomly anytime I would move my arm even slightly so I called a buddy of mine and asked if he could give me a ride to the hospital. They did an x-ray and determined I had a small fracture in the elbow. Fortunately I didn't need a cast or anything just a couple weeks in a sling and then physiotherapy for a couple weeks after that to get my full range of motion back. It took about 6 weeks total before I had full range of motion in my arm again.

Funniest thing was the x-ray tech at the hospital asked me "vodka or whiskey" when he saw what I had done to myself. Haha

76 sats \ 1 reply \ @SimpleStacker 8h

So, vodka, or whiskey?

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby 7h

Beer and scotch.

80 sats \ 0 replies \ @ek OP 7h

lol that was a good story

ok now share another one

136 sats \ 1 reply \ @NovaRift 8h

It was gross. I was at my friend's party and since we were not at the legal age of drinking, I didn't expect that there would be alcohol at all. But to my surprise as no adult was at the house, these guys sneaked some alcohol in, and to impress girls they were taking shots after shots, showing off their tolerance. While i had drunk beer before but not tequila or any hard alcohol, I too maybe took like 5 to 6 small shots, and everything after that I remember is blurry. I puked, peed and pooped and embarrassed infront of everyone, after that like for months I didn't showed up to any party. The headache I got after hangover was so bad that I built sympathy for people who have migraines. Now I can legally drink but haven't tried because of my autoimmune disorder it's just not good for me.

61 sats \ 0 replies \ @ek OP 7h

since we were not at the legal age of drinking, I didn't expect that there would be alcohol at all

lol, I already laughed out loud here

I too maybe took like 5 to 6 small shots

5 to 6 small shots sounds like at least 3 normal shots which is probably already more than I can take currently

I puked, peed and pooped and embarrassed infront of everyone, after that like for months I didn't showed up to any party.

Oof, sounds pretty bad, sorry for that. Thanks for sharing! Sounds definitely wild.

But this reminded me of my first time drinking alcohol, which was also the first time I was on a party that went multiple days and first time being the host.

A female friend ended up puking on my bed and we gave her bread to swallow because we thought it would "soak up the alcohol." I escorted her home after she was done. I wasn't mad but she was very sorry. In fact, she was so sorry, she gifted me the electric guitar of her brother who didn't want it anymore after a few days. That's how I got into playing guitar haha

There's a lot more that happened but maybe another time

136 sats \ 0 replies \ @guerratotal 8h

I remember when I was in college, I slept at home because I lived nearby, but when it was time for exams, I would go and stay in the bed that belonged to me but that I never used. In those days, we bought a 7-year-old painted Havana Club and started studying. I've never been a very active drinker, and that day we started drinking around 8 at night. By 10, I was completely drunk. A friend put on an MP3 player with music and I had never danced in my life. From there, I started dancing, getting with a girl who was kind of chubby, dancing with her. From there, I started vomiting. My friend brought a cleaning bucket and filled it with vomit. He put my head in the shower. From there, I revived and continued dancing like crazy.

Back then, we didn't have cell phones or cameras like we do now, otherwise I would have turned into a meme for dancing with the chubby girl, hahaha.

305 sats \ 4 replies \ @carter 10h

I got real drunk and couldn't drive to pick up my son so I started walking back to campus. A train stopped next to me that went parallel to the road back to campus so I climbed on, it started again and got up to speed pretty fast, I realized my mistake as I knew I could jump off or ride to the next town. I lowered my legs down from the ladder I was hanging off of. I said a lil prayer as I let go and tucked and rolled down into the culvert. Arm was banged up but I picked up my son on time. Stupidest thing I've ever done

36 sats \ 0 replies \ @zapsammy 8h

train hopping has been on my to-do list for a very long time, and i have lived right next to railroad tracks for a total of about 8 years (thankfully i am a deep sleeper); it never happened; am i a coward, i wonder;

71 sats \ 1 reply \ @guerratotal 8h

You were saved because when you're drunk you become like rubber, and you don't feel the blows hahahahaha

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @adlai 16m

I shouldn't comment further in this thread; prohibitions about medical advice and all that.

36 sats \ 0 replies \ @ek OP 9h

lol, nice one and glad you’re okay

90 sats \ 2 replies \ @carlosfandango 10h

Thankfully there were no camera phones back in the day. Although I might have something to put here if there were….

46 sats \ 1 reply \ @ek OP 9h

Someone drew a dick on your face?

76 sats \ 0 replies \ @carlosfandango 9h

I was always partial to the drunken MrMonopoly-moustache-monocle marker pen combo… far more distinguished..

214 sats \ 1 reply \ @siggy47 9h

One drunken New Year's Eve I was celebrating with friends in South Philly. All the houses kind of looked the same in the neighborhood, and no one locked their doors back then. In a drunken stupor, I apparently entered the wrong house and passed out on the couch. I woke up the next morning and saw the newspaper. I started reading it, with my feet up on the couch. Soon, some old guy I had never seen before came down the stairs and said "who the fuck are you?"

I had a lot of explaining to do.

36 sats \ 0 replies \ @guerratotal 8h

jajajjajajjaj.....I've been laughing here alone for half an hour....jajajjaja

137 sats \ 0 replies \ @Aardvark 9h

My friend taught me that police come when someone gets shot, NOT when you shoot a gun. He demonstrated this by shooting a gun from his living room window at around 4am across a major highway that was luckily empty at this time of day.

The police did not come by the way.

137 sats \ 0 replies \ @SimpleStacker 9h

I got drunk at the age of 7. We were in a restaurant in Thailand. I saw the table next to me a bright blue drink and told my parents I wanted that so they told the waiter to get one for me. I don't think they knew it was alcoholic and I certainly didn't know either. I chugged the whole thing and next thing I remember I was in bed at home and my parents told me I had passed out because the drink was alcoholic

112 sats \ 1 reply \ @0xbitcoiner 9h

We pissed off the bouncer who wouldn't let us into the club. Then we ended up in the hospital after a car crash. Luckily, it was just scratches, but the car was toast.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ek OP 9h

Ouch

97 sats \ 0 replies \ @rootmachine 9h

My drunk moment was short. I went home quick with a taxi when I realized I am seeing double. But my brother? Oh boy... he was singing while riding a swing when he called me saying that the Earth is not stopping for him to get off. He called me to inform me that I have to go take him home and to sleep before my parents get home. He was with a friend, drunker than him. He also had to get home before his mom. I had to take turns to get them home. Next day they were sick angels.

91 sats \ 0 replies \ @Coinsreporter 9h

I drank all by my own, alone for the first time at the age of 12. That was the whiskey I stole from my uncle who was in the army. I took the bottle (it had about 100ml left) hiding in my school bag to our fields of maize in the morning and drank it with dates, then I don't know, I only woke up at about 7 in the evening.

36 sats \ 0 replies \ @zapsammy 8h

partially tearing the chain off the poles around a city parking lot in order to play jump-rope

0 sats \ 3 replies \ @ek OP 7h

I assume @DarthCoin is still typing 👀

21 sats \ 1 reply \ @DarthCoin 7h

I do not like to post/reply on this territory...

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @ek OP 7h

right, I forgot

you can reply in the @saloon

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @adlai 24m

typing

you don't get streamed notifs?

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @adlai 37m

I woke up wearing my own pants. Don't ask me where my boxers had gone, how long it took me to find them, or whether I ever told anyone else.

definitely not my best story, although it's a quickie

wildest 1

wildest 2

Footnotes