Shitcoins don't "improve the human condition."

I should know. My guards don't take altcoins. They only take bribes in LN sats.

I get all kinds of good stuff like getting to be last in line for beatings so they're all tired by the time they get to me. But I gotta use real money. They don't want to have to convert pump and dump nonsense into real money (BTC).

I mean, welcome.