Yea, it's tricky. Especially when they seem to be in distress. But each kid is different, and the more you spend time with them and have experience with them, the better you can tell if it's the real deal or just shenanigans.

My inclination was to think the way she does, anyway, but it's nice to get the confirmation from someone who went through it.

Undisciplined

Your friend is very wise and it's good she is willing to share with you her wisdom. I've seen so many friends and family who are worried about their kid being "slow" in their development. But eventually, all the kids figured it out and are all thriving.