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It's a depressing read. But something that strengthens my resolve to give my son the opportunity to grow up outside of Korea. He loves playing. But that ability will get squandered in the coming years as academic pressure will keep building. He's 5. I already see kids his age suffering from the pressure their parents put them through.
Kim Hye-min (not her real name) has taught high school students in Seoul for over a decade. Over the years, she has watched many of her students struggle with depression and exhaustion from academic pressure. In her classroom alone, more than five students receive psychiatric counseling for depression.
[...]
Even during break time at school, many do not go outside to play.
In a survey of 2,450 elementary schools by the teachers’ union, 90.4 percent of children said they spent their break time in the classroom doing things related to “private academies, study worksheets or online classes.”
Lee Joon-gi, an elementary school teacher in Gwangju and a member of the education creator group Gummongle, said the trend of students not heading out to playgrounds during lunch break has become more noticeable since the COVID-19 pandemic. Many schools closed playgrounds during the pandemic.
When they reopened it, complaints from parents surged, Lee said.
“Even minor incidents on the playground led to an outpouring of parental complaints, so schools began keeping students indoors during breaks,” Lee said. Additionally, new government policies requiring various safety and extracurricular education further reduced the time available for free play.
Staying in the classroom often means many would end up playing alone or with a small group of close friends.
“Many kids today have little or no experience playing with friends. Even when given the chance to play, they don’t know how to play. Screen time has replaced social time. The quality of their play has deteriorated,” the teacher said.
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Happened to be watching this YT video on the same topic (in the West). It's about how kids are not socializing normally
Sad
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Thanks for the rec. I barely consume video media these days, unless I really know it is worth my time.
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What happens to kids who don't go through this? Do they end up not going to college and not getting good jobs?
I also wonder if this is only in Seoul or if it's everywhere
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The big companies usually only hire from the big unis. It's slowly changing, but majority of professors in my field are all still SNU (Seoul National University) graduates.
SKY: Seoul university, Korea University, Yonsei University, the only 3 that matter in people's mind. There was a good satirical TV show on this: Sky Castle about how Tiger mums will go all the way to get their kids in the best schools.
Another way is to have rich parents who can send you abroad and come back with overseas experience.
It's all of Korea, because nearly everyone who does not live in Seoul aspires to move to Seoul at some point. And to do that, you need to get the best scores as a kid to get into the best Seoul unis.
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Is life really that bad for the non-elite? Just wondering why the pressure is so high. I'd like my kids to do well here in America, but I won't stress that much if they don't get into the best of the best schools.
I did watch a few episodes of Sky Castle, by the way. My wife made me because she said I'm like one of the dads. I reject that assertion! lol
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It really depends on who you ask, but the prevailing view amongst parents is still that you really should get your kids in the best unis, at all costs. It's a bit paradoxical, because many of the ones who are of the age to become parents are now disenchanted because they themselves did everything to get a good degree, yet it hasn't necessarily paid off as the competition is too high when everyone went for a uni degree. There is a reason birth rate is so low here. People believe it'll cost a fortune just to raise one kid with such standards on private education cost, etc.
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I grew up in the countryside, so playing outside with friends was just normal. I’m not sure how it was in the city, but I imagine it was probably worse. I get what you’re saying, kids today don’t have as much time to play with their friends. It’s not just because of more schoolwork, but also because people’s mindset has changed. From what I see, parents don’t give kids as much freedom anymore, and that pressure you mentioned on kids, you can also feel it on the parents.
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Yeah, I don't mind people changing. But at least, I'd like to have the choice to raise my kid the way I want without having to battle society and wife's pressure at all time.
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I handle social pressure just fine, but pressure from the wife is a whole different ballgame! The secret is consensus and give-and-take from both sides. Don't make the mistake of putting that pressure on the kid, they need the freedom to discover things on their own. You just have to show them the way.
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Wise words. My wife is the most caring, generous, and gentle person when it comes to our kid. Yet, she was shocked herself last time how suddenly she got angry because of how he acted in public. God forbid the kid does not behave the way society wants him to behave. Good she is very good at self-reflection, too. It was harder on her than on him, in the end.
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This whole thing - kids not knowing how to play, not doing what every single kid before about 50 years ago has done - has unfortunately been going on for a while in the US as well.
My kids grew up in a house in a "nice" neighborhood (great school district). It was a complete wasteland in terms of kids playing independently outside. It just didn't happen. Parent organized playdates, or nothing (i.e. solo screen time).
Korea may be worse, but just going outside of Korea will almost certainly not be good enough.
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Yeah, I agree that escaping the country is not a magical solution. But at least, the social pressure to conform to one way of educating kids will be less. Gotta secure a job abroad first, though~~
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Education in Singapore is also a relentless arms race. I think we are a more forgiving society in that our degree helps us get our first job, but our progression in the workforce is mainly dependent on our job performance. So, people who don’t excel in academics can still thrive in the corporate world if they build up an economically viable skill set
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I did think of Singapore when writing this up. It's good to know there is an alternative path over there. Here, probably too, but people don't want to realize it until they find out their kids' degree is worthless as everyone is a university graduate.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @OT 25 Jun
Would it be something like a cultural shame if you just take it easy on your kid?
My wife is from China and a lot of her friends kids are also suffering from depression. I would never raise my kids in that environment.
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It's just that you don't really have a choice if you want him to become an outcast. All kids in daytime school will meet their classmates in the private academies. That's where they will make friends. It's a twisted system, but it takes a whole lot of courage and conviction to escape it. Both parents have to be on the same page. I can likely ignore social pressure, my wife can't. Even I might succumb once he lags behind his classmates because he is not taking private math or English lessons.
The easiest way will just be to take us out of the system whenever push comes to shove.
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