wandering_soul

alter_native

I've hit rock bottom - this is what I wrote in my diary today

I am not ready yet to share information that can help identify me. I've used *** instead.

Teacher - Tomorrow is my son's birthday...
Hmm... I had many thoughts
I just don't know what I did wrong
Was I too cold when we talked? My speech? My voice? What did I do wrong, I don't know.

I'm just caught up in all my mistakes and misunderstandings,
and I'm tormenting myself again and again... It's so hard... I'm at rock bottom...
Emotionally, I'm at rock bottom in every way...

Now, the only thing left is to go up, and that's still one hope...

It seems like everyone in the world hates and detests me.
Everyone-in-the-world!

Correcting the error

Not everyone in the world-> My close friends, ***, ***, ***, ***, ***, my husband, my husband's family, etc. They all know me well and try to understand me and don't hate me. There are definitely people who are there for me. People who support and care for me...

But I know-> This is a very self-centered thought... People don't really care about me. No one cares about me. I'd appreciate it if you cared... Everyone only thinks about their own position-

Human relationships are fluid, they can get better -> Everything changes and everything can get better. I change and develop, and so do people. All situations can get better.

Let's think of it as a process of testing my mental strength. Let's think of it as a really important practice process to test how much I can control my emotions every time I'm in a relationship like this.

After talking to my husband
Okay, it's really good to have come to this conclusion.

I feel at ease... A good person I can trust.

Conclusion - my husband will take care of everything from morning to night since January

From January, I will get an office and focus on my business idea.
Work 14 hours a day and achieve results - Continue until I achieve results. Whether it's 14 or 16 hours a day, do it like crazy and completely immerse myself

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yes, I want to help ***, consult, use ***, do sales, and do that kind of work anyway -
Studying is something I can do at the same time

I will push my business idea to the end with all my might

If it doesn't work out, I will get a job. Or study. I will decide then.

I suddenly saw ***'s profile and she seems really great. I wonder if being a social worker didn't suit her... Looking at how she pushed forward in *** and opened a school like this... consistency... I think that's something worth learning. It must also be because it is a country where you can live comfortably even if you have just one job.

The courage to go through that process and open a school like this is amazing. Enterprising...

I also want to be an enterprising and consistent person.
I want to be someone who is passionate and immersed in something.
What I want is human relationships, working with people, and being influenced by good people.
But my physical strength is like that of a freelancer... My throat and bronchial tubes are weak... I have no strength.

What should I do?
Personality... How can I fix my innate personality?

Positive thinking
Letting go
Staying calm

Doing what you like every day
Having fun every day
Trying
Like I used to
Working for my own happiness
Working consistently is fine, and I can work for the rest of my life.
And I want to do it for the rest of my life.
I can do it.

With my current financial situation, I can do what I like whenever I want.

How thankful and happy is the reality that I can freely try out things I want to do. How thankful I am that I can slowly and sufficiently achieve the things I want to do one by one without being impatient because of our ample financial situation.

I am so thankful and thankful again.

I will work hard toward my goal.

I will definitely complete setting up my business by March.

I will experience risking everything.

I will work hard.
I can't sleep anyway.