Make Fun of Coinbase Bitcoin Backed Loans! \ stacker news ~lol

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Make Fun of Coinbase Bitcoin Backed Loans!

3039 sats \ 63 comments \ @grayruby 17 Jan lol

Ok let's have some fun!

Leaving this wide open for stackers to be creative. Memes, jokes, poems, all forms of creative expression welcome. Best reply as voted by top filter by end of day Stacker News Time (when the daily rewards get paid out) wins 1k sats.

You may have heard that Coinbase launched their Bitcoin Backed Loans product recently and I think it is very mockable. Coinbase takes your bitcoin, custodies it, mints a shitcoin token (cbBTC), that it sends over it's ethereum layer 2 called Base to some defi protocol called Morpho Labs that is built on Base. In return you get your loan paid out in shitcoin USDC. This is a ridiculously convoluted way to do this and the kicker is converting BTC to shitcoin BTC is a taxable event. Hilarious stuff.

Mock them incessantly. Win sats. Go!

1,000 sats paid

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54 sats \ 1 reply \ @freetx 17 Jan

Trust me, I'm no fan of CB, but I don't think this presents a tax issue

The borrower provides collateral and receives USDC. Whatever intermediate steps coinbase performs are not the borrowers responsibility (nor in their control).

Furthermore, if cbBTC is 1:1 value to BTC then I don't think there will be any taxes due by coinbase (just like trading USD for USDC doesn't create any taxes due).

Regardless if any taxes are due, they would be the responsibility of coinbase not the borrower.

10 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Swapping from BTC to wrapped BTC is a taxable event. Just like if you swapped from BTC to any other crypto. Even though they are meant to be pegged 1:1 it is still taxable.

"Regardless if any taxes are due, they would be the responsibility of coinbase not the borrower." You can take that up with Coinbase but I don't think you will get a positive result.

37 sats \ 1 reply \ @0xIlmari 17 Jan

Hate to be the party pooper but Binance had these for years. This is nothing new to mock.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Being in the same camp as Binance isn’t saying much.

2070 sats \ 3 replies \ @IamSINGLE 17 Jan

Coinbase is smaller than Binance in height but elder brother of Binance. Binance is Team international, Coinbase is Team USA.

0 sats \ 2 replies \ @grayruby OP 18 Jan

2k sats. This was voted the winner by top ranking.

40 sats \ 1 reply \ @IamSINGLE 18 Jan

Thanks. I didn't see that coming. I thought it was just 1 k.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby OP 18 Jan

#853824

111 sats \ 2 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Bounty will now be 2k sats since this sucker is getting a lot of zaps!

242 sats \ 1 reply \ @0xbitcoiner 17 Jan

i took out a coinbase loan to zap this post

22 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Hahaha don't fib. You didn't zap this in cbBTC or USDC. You zapped in cold hard sats.

111 sats \ 1 reply \ @0xbitcoiner 17 Jan

30 sats \ 0 replies \ @Fabs 17 Jan

I wonder where that did is now.

71 sats \ 3 replies \ @poe7645 17 Jan

42 sats \ 2 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Haha

40 sats \ 1 reply \ @poe7645 17 Jan

Forgot to add a wrapper 🤦

It's fixed now 😂

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Hahaha. Perfect now,

110 sats \ 4 replies \ @SimpleStacker 17 Jan

Thanks for the meme material, @grayruby

30 sats \ 3 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Haha if you win do we split the prize?

40 sats \ 2 replies \ @SimpleStacker 17 Jan

kekeke you deserve all of it, I just plastered it onto a meme template

30 sats \ 1 reply \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Nah. If I knew I would be immortalized in a meme I would have thought more about phrasing. Anyways looks great. Someone mega zapped this post so bounty has already been paid by the kindness of strangers.

10 sats \ 0 replies \ @SimpleStacker 17 Jan

Nah, the authenticity is what makes it work!

61 sats \ 2 replies \ @carlosfandango 17 Jan

Marketplace of greed, Echoes of fiat deceit. Fake coin….. heartbreak.

20 sats \ 1 reply \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Lovely.

40 sats \ 0 replies \ @carlosfandango 17 Jan

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105 sats \ 1 reply \ @cleaningup12 17 Jan

In the land of digital treasure, so sleek, Coinbase takes your Bitcoin, oh what a pique! They custody it with a mischievous grin, Then they mint a shitcoin token, it's called cbBTC within.

Off it goes, not in a straight line, but a twist, Sends it over Ethereum Layer 2, they call it Base, resist! To some DeFi protocol named Morpho Labs, oh what fun, In this crypto carnival, we're just begun.

And for all your troubles, your patience, your wait, In return you get your loan paid out in shitcoin USDC, mate! So here's the moral, if you can glean, In the world of crypto, it's all quite a scene!

15 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Damn well done. As pee wee herman said you are a poet and you didn't know it.

132 sats \ 2 replies \ @denlillaapan 17 Jan

(not quite, since customers are paying I suppose?)

Also, you are the yield they're trying to reduce (#carbon)

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

"you are the yield they're trying to reduce (#carbon)"

Hahaha amazing.

We have some geese like this in Canada but they chase you for bread crumbs, not to drop truth bombs!

20 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard 17 Jan

So train them better! Have elite truth bomb geese! Be the change you want to see in the world and open a brainwashing geese camp!

100 sats \ 2 replies \ @Coinsreporter 17 Jan

A man with dreams, so bright and grand, Sought capital from a bank's cold hand. He borrowed much, with hope so high, Bet his house, beneath the sky.

The bank’s burden, a weight unseen, He turned to cheer in a bar’s dim sheen. With borrowed funds, he drank his fill, A fleeting joy, but fate’s cruel thrill.

A girl beside, with eyes that gleam, Whispered promises, a fleeting dream. To a motel’s room, they swiftly flew, In the haze of night, where shadows grew.

Awoke alone, with dawn’s cruel light, The woman gone, without a fight. The motel's manager, demand so fierce, For payment due, his woes increase.

In search of her, in clubs and bars, He faced only silence, under stars. Heavy labor to pay the cost, Of dreams now shattered, all but lost.

A year of toil, his health declines, AIDS/HIV, the cruelest sign. From a fleeting touch, his life now frayed, A cautionary tale of debts unpaid.

In shadows deep, where dreams collide, He pays the price, where hopes reside. A man who reached for dreams so high, Found only burdens beneath the sky.

Drinks = Shitcoins
The woman = Coinbase

20 sats \ 1 reply \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Wow we are getting seriously artistic here. I feel like I need to go back to college lit class.

20 sats \ 0 replies \ @Coinsreporter 17 Jan

Do t need to go back to college, just take a loan against your coins, you'll be a poet in no time. ;)

81 sats \ 1 reply \ @frostdragon 17 Jan

click to zoom

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Haha. Apt.

40 sats \ 1 reply \ @HardMoney 17 Jan

I wonder what @DarthCoin ‘s thoughts are on this new loan product

10 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Haha I don't think we have to wonder.

40 sats \ 1 reply \ @02879c7d869 17 Jan

They're the same picture, but one makes the IRS very happy.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Haha. I don't think wrapped bitcoin is the same as bitcoin. It's just the crypto version of a paper proxy like an etf except you can't sue the custodian when they rug you.

41 sats \ 1 reply \ @Coinsreporter 17 Jan

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Many such cases.

40 sats \ 1 reply \ @Zenul_Abidin 18 Jan

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @grayruby OP 18 Jan

Haha good one.

30 sats \ 0 replies \ @Msd0457890 17 Jan

Excellent initiative. Long live the memes 😂

Jajajaja

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @suraz 17 Jan

21 sats \ 2 replies \ @Satosora 17 Jan

This is a fundamental truth.

20 sats \ 1 reply \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Is this your new meme? What happened to your cat?

Also while this is great it doesn't make fun of Coinbase.

20 sats \ 0 replies \ @Satosora 17 Jan

Everyone that will be getting loans will be transferring out of bitcoin. And getting shitcoins or the USDT instead. I like the cat meme, but this one is adequate for this situation.

20 sats \ 0 replies \ @count_chocula 17 Jan

you've just mogged their mewing streak. Liquidate their mid-coin back to ohio

20 sats \ 2 replies \ @000w2 17 Jan

To be fair, this is exactly what banks do.

15 sats \ 1 reply \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Yes but at least if I take out a fiat loan I don't have to pay capital gains tax on the collateral.

You could argue that is a problem with the tax code but considering Coinbase is aware of the current tax code they seem to care more about generating a use case for their stupid layer 2 than actually providing users with a quality product. They clearly know how to custody Bitcoin. They could have easily executed this without the rube goldberg shitcoin machine.

20 sats \ 0 replies \ @000w2 17 Jan

Oh you don't have to convince me that Coinbase is retarded clown bukkake festival.

My point is that banks do the same stuff, it's just been normalized by society. But at they end of the day they are even worse rube goldberg ponzi schemes.

20 sats \ 7 replies \ @NovaRift 17 Jan

I thought Coinbase was genuine since they had so many users worldwide, even US government.

10 sats \ 6 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Well it is a genuine company but they are also genuine shitcoiners. They love crypto and tolerate Bitcoin because it's such a large part of their business but they would be perfectly happy if Bitcoin went away and was replaced by eth.

20 sats \ 4 replies \ @028559d218 17 Jan

'Replaced by Eth' Have they seen the eth/btc ratio chart the last year? ???

0 sats \ 3 replies \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Yes I have. It's delicious. Doesn't mean Coinbase aren't more pro eth than Bitcoin.

40 sats \ 2 replies \ @028559d218 17 Jan

I don't know why they would be pro-eth. It's like being pro... fool's gold. Pro-platinum or pro-copper, or pro-bronze...

Instead of pro-gold. What am I missing here?

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @grayruby OP 17 Jan

Because eth is the tip of the spear for crypto and they are much more interested in perpetuating the crypto casino than supporting Bitcoin.

45 sats \ 0 replies \ @028559d218 17 Jan

Eth is a giant air-token. It's literally value created out of thin air... aka non-sense. No work, no energy, no real-world energy costs... no connection to the 'physical realm' at all. It's a giant 'air token' a giant scam in my humble opinion and goes to zero.

Why other people including coinbase can't see this is beyond me.

20 sats \ 0 replies \ @NovaRift 17 Jan

That's how cruel a corporation is; they are a business, so obviously, they would only see profit. It's the case with most crypto platforms. They see Bitcoin and other cryptos as the same thing.

10 sats \ 0 replies \ @LowK3y19 18 Jan

I lost all my BtC from Coinbase when Silk Road went down and now I need to take a loan out against my .1 so I can buy a house

20 sats \ 0 replies \ @e0ce06e368 17 Jan

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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @frostdragon 17 Jan

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