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AskSN: What the hell do I need for my unborn child?
765 sats \ 42 comments \ @Shugard 30 Nov alter_native
I will be a dad! #771612
And because I know my better half will go crazy with the planning, I need your help. We need a stroller, a changing table, a crib, clothes and diapers. So much stuff! Since it's my first, I don't think we'll need any of it. But I have no experience! So please help.
What was something you never thought of that later changed / saved your life?
What is totally overrated and what is underrated? What can I skip and what is a must?
Any advice is appreciated.
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64 sats \ 1 reply \ @User21000000 30 Nov
Overrated change table you will find yourself changing babies wherever you are .
Having a cart on wheels that you can have supplies in in the house like nappies wipes etc is good
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
The cart idea sounds interesting! I will look into it.
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271 sats \ 6 replies \ @nout 30 Nov
Congrats man!! That's amazing!
Yeah, you don't need changing table if you have some spot where you can comfortably change diapers without bending your back. In the beginning you NEED bassinet and later you should probably get a crib (like at 4 months...). The thing with crib is that doctors tell you that your baby super duper has to sleep in a crib and women have this instinct to instead bring the child in the bed and sleep with the kid in the bed. So you will have to eye it based on whether doctors or your wife win.
Car seat is a must! In many states and countries they don't let you take the baby from the hospital without car seat.
Here are some things that were actually very useful
Diapers
  • We liked the most https://www.coterie.com/ (pampers/dodots also work, but the coterie is somehow more healthy or whatever) and we also like the wipes from these the most.
Babies are super addicted to anything with lights - so any toy that has lights and makes sounds will be a win. But at the same time you want to limit their addiction, so only get couple of the "lights" toys. Fisher-price is decent brand that makes all toys. Like this one is a win https://www.amazon.com/Bright-Starts-HugaBye-Musical-Elephant/dp/B08R5TR23X/
Overrated
  • changing table
  • wipe warmer
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21 sats \ 2 replies \ @Rothbardian_fanatic 30 Nov
I don’t know about you, but to me, the toys and things that have a lot of bells and whistles (noise makers) and lights are harder for adults to take, too. They get really annoying after the kid hits the button for the thousandths time. I have a nasty tendency to take the batteries out of those types of toys.
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10 sats \ 1 reply \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
Yeah, I'm definitely not a fan of that, and I don't think it's necessary (or even found in our history as a species).
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21 sats \ 0 replies \ @Rothbardian_fanatic 30 Nov
The best way to avoid the problem is to not buy those toys in the first place, but that doesn’t work. The kids always seem to get that kind of toy because persistence and begging really does work for them. My only defense was that they need batteries that can be removed. You can always tell the kids there are no extra batteries around.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
Wow! That's a lot of insight and very helpful advice! Thank you so much!
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @denlillaapan 30 Nov
What a rundown. Great advice, sir
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @nout 30 Nov
Also Snoo bassinet is like a cheat code for some babies (my guess is 50% babies love it, 50% hate it). You can probably get it second hand and then sell it again, since it's quite expensive.
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101 sats \ 1 reply \ @DesertDave 30 Nov
Love is all you need. The rest will work itself out.
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11 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
Amen!
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31 sats \ 4 replies \ @Rothbardian_fanatic 30 Nov
You might want a baby bath tub. If you swaddle your baby you will need swaddling blankets. Another thing is some sort of way to carry the baby around (I have seen very long pieces of cloth to wrap around parent and child or a backpack-like device for carrying on the front). You can find a lot of these things and clothes, if you want them, at either thrift stores or used baby stuff stores.
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20 sats \ 3 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
Yeah, I want to carry it around with me all day! That's one of the things I'm really looking forward to! I love to use it with my godson every time I visit him.
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0 sats \ 2 replies \ @Rothbardian_fanatic 30 Nov
I have seen both ways of carrying the kid. The long cloth wrap technique seems to be easier on the kid and the person carrying the kid. The wrap looks like it is more difficult to set up, though.
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10 sats \ 1 reply \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
The wrap looks like it is more difficult to set up, though.
I think one can get used to it and develop a routine?
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Rothbardian_fanatic 30 Nov
Probably, I have seen people throw the wraps on very quickly and securely. I don’t have any experience with them, myself, though. We used strollers and the on-the-hip method for our kids.
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21 sats \ 1 reply \ @alyssa4 30 Nov
Congrats! I am a soon to be Mom of my first child. I have also been determining what I need for baby. While I haven’t had the chance to trial anything yet, here are some of the top items I am getting. I’ve been looking for products without flame retardants and seeking out low-toxin options when possible. I have been able to find almost all of these items (some of which are higher end) very lightly used or new on Facebook marketplace.
No diapers listed as we are going to use cloth diapers and pay for a service to launder - this is a priority for me. Check out natural infant hygiene - it is a method used in other countries by which you can start potty training the baby at just a few months old. single-use diapers hinder this process. I’m sure my list is already excessive but I have a family that wants me to be set up for success, and it is easier to satisfy their expectations this way.
I am having the most difficult time with the car seat and stroller as many brands contain forever chemicals. Any suggestions are appreciated!!!
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
Check out natural infant hygiene - it is a method used in other countries by which you can start potty training the baby at just a few months old.
We plan to do this! Friends have had great success with this and have never needed diapers (just for the night).
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21 sats \ 1 reply \ @jgbtc 30 Nov
Several commentors are saying to skip the changing table but we found it very useful. Saves your back and also provides a convenient place to store diapers and wipes. You will do most of the diaper changes in the baby's room and at 3 am you'll be glad you have an ideal location to do it. We had a pretty basic one, not very expensive. It had a nice pad with edges that curved up to help keep the baby from rolling off, and was water proof which was very helpful. There will be pee and poo, you want that on your bed or other surface your using for changing? Get a changing table.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
I see what you mean and we are definitely considering one! Might be a used one so as not to get fancy, but still, sounds like a solid solution.
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21 sats \ 1 reply \ @mateusdeap 30 Nov
Of all those things, the changing table, in my experience is the least valuable. I change my kids just about anywhere now. It’s still useful. Baby bathtubs I also think are overrated. More useful when they’re newborns. You just need a good place to bathe them. In our house we’ve used our own showers, basins of all kinds, sinks and even buckets. Whatever works best for you.
Things I think are musts: they’re own crib and they’re own room (so they get used to sleeping alone and in their own environment), a breast feeding chair will grant you your partner’s eternal gratitude. And clothes and cloth diapers for drool, etc.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
(so they get used to sleeping alone and in their own environment)
That's what I have heard a lot! Thanks!
a breast feeding chair will grant you your partner’s eternal gratitude
I hope you are right! I will try and make her my eternal vassal.
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21 sats \ 0 replies \ @shadowybadger 30 Nov
Diapers and a car seat. You'll be fine.
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21 sats \ 1 reply \ @030f721f27 30 Nov
Later on skip the "kids" Bed but get a full size One. Kids grow fast! Also never buy expensive shoes. Toys are overrated too. Most kids prefer stuff that are toys to them. My kid preferred pots and Keys and stuff. The life changer Where definately odorless disposabple wet wipes🥳 the kid Will be 8 and we still and probably Forever Will keep using them. But in the emd everyone has Different needs actually most of the stuff isn't "needed" But to make your own life a bit more comfortable. The kid really just needs to be loved. Enjoy being a dad!
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
But in the emd everyone has Different needs actually most of the stuff isn't "needed" But to make your own life a bit more comfortable.
That's very wise!
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21 sats \ 1 reply \ @Zathras 30 Nov
Blessed nest nursing pillow. I know it looks expensive but it makes a huge difference.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
nest nursing pillow
We got that! Check!
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21 sats \ 1 reply \ @grayruby 30 Nov
You need a car seat. Get the stroller car seat combo so that you can just clip the newborn insert in and out. It is super convenient.
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40 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
Working on that!
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21 sats \ 3 replies \ @bief57 30 Nov
Don't buy diapers or clothes in NB size, they will not fit in a week. You need a stroller, a sling will help them a lot because they love to be attached to their parents' chest, so you can put your baby in one of those and be able to do your chores in peace because you will have your hands free, it's a win-win, happy baby, happy parents. I like playpens more than cribs, they are more useful in my experience.
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0 sats \ 2 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
happy baby, happy parent
Amen!
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21 sats \ 1 reply \ @bief57 30 Nov
It is a great emotion, the only thing you should know is that you will do well, trust your instincts. Many blessings.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
Thank you, sir! I'm very optimistic!
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21 sats \ 1 reply \ @Signal312 30 Nov
MOST of what folks are buying today for babies is not necessary, strictly speaking. And if you're trying to stack sats, buying used and/or being very minimalist is perfectly fine.
Underrated - keeping a decluttered house, kid-friendly house. Not a ton of toys and kid stuff around. Make it so that if the kids are rummaging around, they won't find things that hurt them, or that they could damage.
Find other parents with kids the same age. That's so valuable, and it can be so fun to just hang out with people going through the same thing.
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
Find other parents with kids the same age.
That's great advice!
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21 sats \ 0 replies \ @siggy47 30 Nov
You may be able to substitute a regular table you own for a changing table. Everything else is a necessity, and plenty more. If you own a car, a car seat is a must.
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21 sats \ 1 reply \ @cryotosensei 30 Nov
Don’t bother with toys and clothes. Spread the word and friends and relatives will overwhelm you with them, be it preloved or new.
Discuss with your other half whether you wanna go the pacifier route. Some parents do; other parents refuse to give in, choosing to endure the screaming.
1-2 indestructible books when your child is a few months old
A good hooded towel to keep the newborn warm
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
Spread the word and friends and relatives will overwhelm you with them
Great advice!
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @random_ 30 Nov
Install a utility sink in the babys room.
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0 sats \ 1 reply \ @WeAreAllSatoshi 30 Nov
A product called TushBaby was very helpful for me. And lots of burp rags
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Shugard OP 30 Nov
Yay! I can't wait to walk around all day with this little toddler! I want to show my kid the world!
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0 sats \ 0 replies \ @TNStacker 30 Nov freebie
Baby wipes warmer.