I really enjoy stacker news. It's pretty much the only place where I interact with others online. This is my community. There were a few days recently when a spent a good chunk of my days on here. I put out a few posts that did pretty well. It felt really good to have so much engagement with you all.. I even noticed that I was even starting to move up the leaderboard.
I am someone who can we easily get looped into things. I tend to get hyper focused on one part of my reality and I struggle to get out. I've experienced this in the past with work, weed, sex, among other things. On stacker, I found myself checking for notifications non-stop. I was checking to see where I was on the leaderboard many times a day. I was feeling addicted to the feeling I got when I saw I had moved up the board. I was craving attention of any type. And, my ego was kicking in big time.
What really highlighted this is when I let another stacker trigger me and pull me down to a level where I don't like to go. I said things that were mean, my ego was raging. I felt angry. I started plotting ways to get back at them and prove my position. I let them get the best of me. This is not me and I never want to show up this way.
So I am taking a break. I still have work to do when it comes to balancing how I spend my time and energy. Sometimes a temporary clean break is the best. So my intent is to stay off my phone and stacker for at least a couple days. I am posting this, in part, because it will help me keep myself accountable.
Do you feel balanced in how you spend your time? Have you ever let someone pull you down to a place where you don't like to go? Can you recognize when your ego is running the show? How much stacker is too much stacker? Does it really matter where we are on the leaderboard?
I won't be responding for a couple days but when I get back, I look forward to hearing from and responding to you all. I love you all. Have a beautiful day. ๐