Dealing with loneliness \ stacker news ~meta

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12.6k sats \ 69 comments \ @Myshkin 23 Sep meta

Homo sapiens is a social animal, we organize in groups, tribes, societies. We deal with hundreds or thousands of people thoughout our lifetime, most of them come and go, some of them stay longer.

If you're lucky enough, you find someone who's willing to stay with you for a lifetime. If you're more than lucky, you are able to love. If you are terribly lucky, you're loved by someone.

That's how life is supposed to work, innit?

If some of these conditions are not realized, issues arise. I guess that some humans out there are able to tell themselves that love is not relevant, that feelings are a trap and being cold as ice is the only solution to human misery. I can understand that, but that's not of any use nor help.

How is someone supposed to deal with loneliness then? Have you ever felt that way? If so, how have you overcome the situation? Is lack of love the highway to loneliness? Is the lack of someone loving you the shortest path to loneliness?

These are questions I'm trying to address as of now. I've no answers, only a huge bag of questions to throw out there, to throw to people who have felt at least once loved. I have, as far as I remember. And I considered it a commodity, something easily replaceable. Now things have changed and it turned out that love is not a commodity - what a discovery!

So then, when loneliness floods your life, what do you do to overcome it?

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668 sats \ 2 replies \ @DesertDave 23 Sep

A few years back, I spent almost 2 years, almost completely alone. Other than going to the store once in a while and visiting with my son every other weekend, I was alone. When my son did visit, I felt bad, because I was quite depressed and I struggled to show up for him the way I wanted to. For the most part, it was just me and my dog. I had pretty much given up on finding a partner that would fit me. I felt like too much of an outsider to be loved. I was very grateful for my dog Dusty. He got me through some hard times. I was telling myself I didn't need anyone but I was very depressed and really ready to give up. And then out of nowhere I met my new love. It felt like as soon as I fully surrendered to the solitude, things shifted. And now I feel very loved. Almost too much at times. I still have hermit tendencies. But I do think we all want connection in our lives. I am very grateful I made it through that tough time and now I have a love in my life again. I don't know if this is helpful in anyway, its just me reflecting a bit on the loneliest time I remember for myself. Thanks for the post. You always have people to connect with here when needed. And remember, you are never truly alone. And things can change. 💚

22 sats \ 0 replies \ @sangekrypto 24 Sep

I was very inspired by the post above and also your post

110 sats \ 0 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

I took time to read comments to this post and I'm really really grateful to every single answer, every single short message. I'm deeply grateful to you for taking the time to read and then answer to my ramblings.

Your story gives me hope and reflects the terrific abiliy of human beings to always ovecome troubles and dark times. I never had the chance to take care of a dog, but I imagine the love that a little dog (or giant dog, for what matters) can give you.

Again, thanks for your message and your story, you gave me hope, your story gave me hope. I'm going to mess around in stacker news more often I guess, I like the feedbacks from this community.

121 sats \ 2 replies \ @thebitcoindatingcoach 24 Sep

Maybe a cliché response, but all the times I felt loneliness in my life, I embraced it and even be-friended it. I sat with it, and just let myself feel the feeling. I think that's one of the unique things about being human sometimes; we can feel the full spectrum of human emotions. Emotions come and go; I think someone said that a human emotion lasts for 90 seconds or so. I guess - if loneliness is chronic and reoccurring, I would seek out ways to connect with others, one step at a time; maybe reading a book, listening to a podcast, cooking something for someone, volunteering, join a local walking club, etc.

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

Appreciate your answer here, thanks a lot. Sometimes small activities turn out to be very powerfull. I like reading, but that sometimes sends me straight to the realm of phisical loneliness for too long. Balance may be the real solution to that.

Thanks again.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @thebitcoindatingcoach 24 Sep

very welcome! perhaps finding a book club could help with this, or reading at the park or cafe :)

83 sats \ 1 reply \ @Golu 23 Sep

Loneliness can be better if we just take it positively. I always try to introspect when I'm alone. Try it, it's gonna change. I also feel that most of the negativity about anything only let's in if you let it in. Changing attitudes helps in big way.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

As far as I know, positivity attracts people. Thus, being positive about loneliness can solve the loneliness problem. Thanks a lot for your message

93 sats \ 8 replies \ @gmd 23 Sep

Take solace in knowing many others are in the same boat... sadly the problem is growing quickly.

120 sats \ 7 replies \ @Myshkin OP 23 Sep

Problem is growing but can It be solved? That's the question to address. We probably have too much time to waste thinking about stuff that we fall into the trap of overthinking. Overthinking leads to bad timing, bad timing is always synonim of failure.

I probably overthink too much, that's why I find myself periodically alone, experiencing loneliness. Just get on with it, they say. Probably not overthinking is one of the roads to peace.

21 sats \ 6 replies \ @gmd 23 Sep

Don't have a good answer, I suspect the problem will only get worse as we get more and more disconnected due to technology.

120 sats \ 4 replies \ @clarity 24 Sep

Yeah, like when you get paid for your “genuine” feelings on a forum.

11 sats \ 2 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

I don't understand your point here, bitterness for no reason. SN is supposed to be a place where people write and others read, sats are a plus. If you don't like the post, feel free to move on to the next one.

21 sats \ 1 reply \ @clarity 24 Sep

Lol, I'm just giving people ideas for how to express themselves :)

22 sats \ 0 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

I probably misinterpreted your message :-D See you around

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @gmd 24 Sep

My hunch is we will slowly lose these as a useful therapeutic resource as well as social networks get flooded by AI content.

99 sats \ 0 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

Probably technology is not helping here, I agree.

221 sats \ 4 replies \ @Solomonsatoshi 23 Sep

IMO this is a huge problem in todays modern society. It is accepted that loneliness causes stress and poor health. When young it is easier to be alone but as you age it becomes harder. In my experience people who choose to be single because of fear of the risk/dangers of relationships face another risk which is a gradual shutdown and creeping bitterness. Much of the epidemic of loneliness can be attributed to our science based economic progress- we do not need relationships so much on an economic level, although living alone is still much less cost effective than living together. IMO the mechanisation commodification of so many aspects of life- the farming out of so many daily 'chores' to machines or paid service providers has undermined the roles that previously gave relationships their purpose and sense of value. The commodification and mechanisation of many aspects of life shows no sign of ceasing and this problem looks like only getting worse. While mechanisation and commodification has delivered efficiencies and freedom of choice it comes at a cost on a personal level. One of the benefits I enjoy from a lifestyle of voluntary poverty is it delivers more simple life and more time and meaning to relationships...but realise this solution will not be for everyone!

121 sats \ 3 replies \ @Coyote_Cosmico 24 Sep

Great thoughts. I think there is some interesting gender dichotomy at play here as well. By that I mean a lot of research showing that single/ unmarried women tend to be much happier and healthier than single/ unmarried men.

Maybe they are just better at socializing and keeping relationships outside of their romantic life. I think that's gotta be part of it.

Just anecdotally, I've met a lot more older unmarried women who may have felt some level of loneliness, but generally appeared content or even very happy with their lives. I'm not sure I've encountered any older unmarried men who had that same "joie de vivre."

Unrelated: I'd like to hear more about your lifestyle of voluntary poverty. That line was intriguing.

21 sats \ 2 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

a lot of research showing that single/ unmarried women tend to be much happier and healthier than single/ unmarried men.

I don't want to be annoying, so excuse me in advance for this. Where do you take this data from? To me it seems that the opposite would be much more reasonable...unmarried aged women are likely to not have kids, how is that supposed to be associated with higher happiness levels?

100 sats \ 1 reply \ @Coyote_Cosmico 25 Sep

You're not being annoying no worries.

I would encourage you to look this up and decide for yourself, I've just noticed these studies dripping out over the years.

I think there was a researcher named Paul Dolan who's written the most about it.

The idea that having children makes people happier is subject of great debate as well I wouldn't assume that's the case. In fact the parental happiness gap has been pretty well researched too.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5222535/

Why might these be true? That's a whole discussion in itself. Very controversial topic, I don't find it very fun to discuss because people get upset and defensive about their own choices. Just sharing some observations of research I've seen.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @Myshkin OP 25 Sep

Thanks for the references

200 sats \ 3 replies \ @BTCLNAT 23 Sep

Loneliness. A tremendous topic. We are social beings, I am not a monkey, I am a human being. But still, we are defined as SOCIAL creatures, so LONELINESS should not be part of our lives. The question then is:

CAN A PERSON BE ALONE EVEN WHEN THEY HAVE OTHER HUMANS WITH THEM, LIVING IN THEIR OWN HOME, AND INTERACTING AT SOME TIME?

ON THE CONTRARY, CAN A PERSON NOT BE ALONE DESPITE NOT LIVING WITH ANOTHER PERSON?

How many are alone while being accompanied and vice versa?

Loneliness and company do not depend on whether or not you live with others. Rather, on whether or not you relate to others and that relationship is reciprocal and equitable.

I am not a sociologist or a psychologist, I am a human who often feels alone despite living with others. And in other stages of my life, despite living alone in a house, I felt very accompanied and mind you, that was before the internet came into my life.

When you live alone you choose with whom, when, how and for how long you relate to others, and you will always have the opportunity to decide the environment. Otherwise you will be forced to relate even with whom you do not want, in the case of large families for example.

What happens if you are married and your spouse decides to bring a family member to the home that you have built together for whatever reason and does so despite knowing that it is not to your liking? I am not talking about a season out of necessity, it is to live permanently. Would it be selfish then for me to decide to leave home?

When I lived alone, it never affected me. I am thinking about going back to living alone.

121 sats \ 1 reply \ @Coyote_Cosmico 24 Sep

I remember hearing the author/ philosopher Alain De Botton years ago on one of the first Tim Ferris podcast episodes.

He had some very interesting things to say about marriages and how in the past they were viewed as much more practical and transactional. They served very specific needs.

A man would choose a woman to marry because she would make a good mother, or be a good partner to manage the household. A woman would choose a husband because he could be a good provider and protector for her and her children.

These focused roles seem old fashioned and unattractive to most of us now, and we look for much more in a spouse. Now we expect our partners to stimulate and fulfill us intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, basically everything. We want them to be into the hobbies we are, to be financial/ business partners, to be able to hold court as equals on our favorite topics of discussion... On and on.

It's such a tall order! Seems near impossible to win at that game and it causes a lot of suffering.

These romantic ideals bubbled up in the late middle ages as some sort of hard pendulum swing in the opposite direction from the restrictive transactional marriages, which came with their own unique suffering.

I think in the eras before that transition, you would expect to fulfill most of these needs from specific friendships or groups outside your marriage. You'd have your hunting/ sporting buddies, your business partners, your philosophy groups etc. It would be a ridiculous idea to try and find a single ideal person to fill all those gaps in your life.

Anyways I remembered that podcast because you mentioned feeling alone when you're living with someone, and that's a situation I've found myself in before as well. Also I've found myself cycling between being lonely as hell when I'm not partnered with someone, and then constantly fantasizing about escape and freedom when I am.

Seems like a through line in a lot of this discussion is the potential benefits of getting off our devices and out into the meatspace with groups of like minded people.

It's easier said than done, but I suspect it would heal a lot of dissatisfaction in many marriages and romantic partnerships. We could better appreciate what we liked about our spouses, instead of the ways they fell short in meeting our various psychological needs.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

Now we expect our partners to stimulate and fulfill us intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, basically everything. We want them to be into the hobbies we are, to be financial/ business partners, to be able to hold court as equals on our favorite topics of discussion... On and on.

Fair enough, that's pretty common nowadays. This is probably why marriages with no pre-marriage cohabitation are more likely to last. Which is also how humans used to face marriage up until few decades ago.

I feel that social media completely faked how people perceive strangers and life. Now joung boys and girls think that all their peers are having a good time, when they date someone they always compare that someone to the others. That is an hell of a trouble.

Meatspace always wins, agreed. I'm trying to get to a gist of any comment below this post, then the meatspace will be where I'll apply and test suggestions.

Thanks for your answer

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

Thanks for this, It's a point of view I've never considered before. I'm pretty much used to living alone both mentally and phisically. To me relationships are never a matter of dominance but only of convergence. If convergence struggles, then compromises come to help. I've always found compromises with people I loved and I liked, when I had the opportunity to live with them. What you've talked about here is hardly the consequence of compromises, probably is the consequence of dominance. If so, then you're better off separating yourself phisically from that place and find out what to do next.

It may be not as easy as I'm putting it, btw.

52 sats \ 1 reply \ @Signal312 23 Sep

There's romantic love, and then there's being with people that you like and like you, that you can do things with. Friends and even acquaintances.

I think BOTH of these are in shorter supply now than they were previously. But I'd start with trying to be sociable, to make friends. Try hard to not be extremely picky about the kind of groups you hang out with. Do social things (join choirs, join groups that do pick-up sports, join dance groups). All face-to-face, not online.

From being around people, you become happier and more sociable, you have a better circle of friends. Then you are more desirable as a romantic partner as well.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

But I'd start with trying to be sociable, to make friends. Try hard to not be extremely picky about the kind of groups you hang out with. Do social things (join choirs, join groups that do pick-up sports, join dance groups). All face-to-face, not online.

That's very practical, thanks for your suggestions. Some people are more extrovert and *charge their batteries by being with others. Other people are less extrovert and thus somehow consume their energy when they happen to be in social situations.

I always thought to be one of the second kind, but as time went by I started to consider myself less introvert than I expected. Thanks again for the suggestions.

31 sats \ 3 replies \ @JesseJames 23 Sep

I actually welcome it. "Homo sapiens is a social animal". True, we are, but that doesn't mean one has to or need to live like that. Some do, some don't. We have different DNA, we grew up in different countries/cultures. I recommend an excellent reading (if you into these things :-)) called The Handbook of Solitude by Robert J. Coplan and Julie C. Bowker. It might change your opinion and perhaps gain some knowledge on how to deal with it.

50 sats \ 1 reply \ @Solomonsatoshi 24 Sep

Agree some choose solitude and this is a long tradition especially in religious terms and important too IMO that we can have solitude if we want it. But most people gain most of their enjoyment in life from what they do for and give to others and that usually involves some form of relationship. But those who choose solitude have often gained knowledge and reflection upon society that society can benefit greatly from. Perhaps this is why there are so many people now like it or not, alone- perhaps human society as a whole has reached a point where it needs a great deal more contemplation and reflection?

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

Interesting question. To me loneliness is something we shall have the opportunity to choose, like privacy. I decide what to show about myself just like I would like to decide went to be alone or not. (Un)fortunately social relationships are not built for that (at least for what I experienced)...getting to compromises can be suffering if you're not willing to accept compromises.

To me most people don't like loneliness at all, they simply accept it. Acceptance is fine as long as it doesn't make more harm than good.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

I recommend an excellent reading (if you into these things :-)) called The Handbook of Solitude by Robert J. Coplan and Julie C. Bowker.

i'm definitely into this kind of stuff :-) Thanks for the suggestion.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @dza 23 Sep

Loneliness is a virus and it will keep spreading, if not dealt with.

64 sats \ 12 replies \ @Coinsreporter 23 Sep

Stacking Sats and listening to some great music together.

160 sats \ 11 replies \ @Myshkin OP 23 Sep

Isn't it simply a distraction to avoid thinking about loneliness?

66 sats \ 3 replies \ @Coinsreporter 23 Sep

Yes, it is. It's one of the most pessimistic thought to creep inside human mind. I never have it because I'm too busy to think about it. When I was working, I used to live alone. For sometime, when this thought crept, I came to live permanently with my family. We all live together and there's always someone to talk to, so the thought doesn't creep.

71 sats \ 2 replies \ @Myshkin OP 23 Sep

Once you take a peak inside it, you have to decide if you want to deep into it or avoid it at all cost. Both strategies are detrimental if you're not able to deal with reality. I guess you found the right balance there, good for you.

102 sats \ 1 reply \ @Coinsreporter 23 Sep

I'm fortunate to live under Indian tradition of joint family.

42 sats \ 0 replies \ @Solomonsatoshi 24 Sep

Some might find that a very rigid/traditional context with little freedom of choice.

0 sats \ 6 replies \ @clarity 23 Sep

Dwelling on anything alone is a terrible idea. First thing I'd recommend is change your username to something I can recognize the next time you post ;)

40 sats \ 5 replies \ @Myshkin OP 23 Sep

Yeppa that's very true. I surf SN anonimously just because I'm too embarassed to post this kind of questions, posts, comments with my real nickname.

110 sats \ 4 replies \ @clarity 23 Sep

We are bitcoiners. We're the 1%. We know loneliness :D It's ok

333 sats \ 2 replies \ @Myshkin OP 23 Sep

I tend to not label myself simply as bitcoiner because I want to avoid the trap of thinking I'm special. I'm not special, nobody is. We are naked apes struggling with Nature, being Nature a bad neighbourhood, the Inflation or the lack of a loved one. I'm okay with a transitionary period of acceptance of loneliness as a...transitionary state.

But if you project time long enough, there's no happiness in loneliness, not even in billionaires. To me, Bitcoin solves the monetary problem, the other issues have to be taken care of with other tools.

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @clarity 24 Sep freebie

Dude, (dudette) have a drink, relax. Make a username, if you would like to join the tribe, and I'll put 1k bounty on you making your next post. If I have 1k to give tomorrow, I'll give it to you.

20 sats \ 0 replies \ @clarity 23 Sep

In fact, here's my Discord if anybody wants to chat: .sharklegs (yes, with the dot .)

71 sats \ 2 replies \ @oraltosun 24 Sep

Loneliness is a difficult condition. The following three conditions apply to a person: 1- If you are alone, you have to experience your joy and sadness as they are 2- You are not alone and you have a good person by your side. Then you will find that your joy is doubled and your sadness is reduced by half. 3- You are not alone and there is someone bad with you. Then your joy is reduced by half, while your sadness is doubled. Conclusion: The best case is undoubtedly the second choice. But the worst situation is not the first, that is, being alone. The worst situation is the case with the third option. Am I right?

10 sats \ 1 reply \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

You're right, among these options that's definitely the ranking I would state too. Overall I would add that, depending on the kind of person that you are, being alone could be a leverage for bad emotions and neuroticism. When you experience reality alone, there's no feedback from the ouside, from other humans for example. No feedback means that you build the feedback yourself, that can be too harsh.

Thanks for your message, appreciate it.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @oraltosun 25 Sep

I agree this statement too. But it's still not the worst situation. What's worse than that is having someone you never want by your side. Thank you.

42 sats \ 4 replies \ @AG 24 Sep

I feel loneliness is really a choice, conscious or unconscious, that it could be, from my perspective, is a really hard thing to do. It's maybe worth to differentiate when is actually a conscious decision, as consequence of some spiritual path, or just an unconscious consequence of self-imposed victimhood.

Finding love and love someone it's hard work, and is not magic as they tell us on TV. Building relationships that last is worth consuming for every kJ of energy and second or your limited lifetime.

Just go out, it is plenty of people everywhere, does it matter where you live, there are gonna probably be another man or woman willing to talk with you.

Nothing last forever, loneliness too... so if you feel trap on it, embrace it and enjoy it because at some stage you are going to miss it ;)

21 sats \ 3 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

Finding love and love someone it's hard work, and is not magic as they tell us on TV.

I guess I'm okay with this, never trusted TV or media anyways. I had the chance to do that hard work for people that turned out to be not worth it. And I must say that I've been the person who someone directed the hard work to, but i wasn't worth it. I understand both sides and I must say that that's a consuming game to play, but if you get the right chemistry the jackpot is extraordinary. A game worth playing.

I appreciate your practical answer.

0 sats \ 2 replies \ @AG 25 Sep

And I must say that I've been the person who someone directed the hard work to, but i wasn't worth it.

I read some regret between the lines here... it's always worth! Keep in mind it is all a learning process, feelings and emotions have to be listened to, not suffer from. We have much to learn on the V4V model to be applied to every aspect of life, including these. We should always give, without expecting anything in return, if not the teaching provided.

A really important lesson I learned is that when you give some change to a homeless in need, you don't do it for the homeless, you do it for yourself.

100 sats \ 1 reply \ @Myshkin OP 25 Sep

Yep, when I experienced heavy loneliness I always gravitated towards bitterness, which is usually associated with regret feelings. I'm running away from it every day of my life ever since...that's one of the worst feelings a human being can ever experience, in my opinion.

I'm gradually understanding that relationships are a possibly th e only game where you can improve the understanding of yourself no matter what the outcome is. I'm trying to work on it as of now, that's painful and I have to remind it to myself basically every 12 hours. But I know that's a better approach than the regret approach.

I've no expectations from any relationship, from anything for what matters. I feel that this approach is what drives me mental when I experience loneliness...no expectations make me feel like I've no route to follow. I prefer to expect stuff, even if it can lead to delusion.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @AG 25 Sep

That's the trap! Expectations. Unconditional love will bring you much better results in the long run ;) and much more peace of mind when you know you are doing everything following your values instead of your feelings.

21 sats \ 1 reply \ @TheBTCManual 24 Sep

I guess the only way to overcome it is to not be part of that group of people who are alone, its not to say don't enjoy your alone time and be comfortable with yourself, you should do that, and if you're not maybe work on that first or speak to a proffesional about it

Then take up some interests, a sport if you like to be active, support a local sports team or some community you enjoy being around and you'll start to meet people with simliar interests

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

I'm not aware of alone people that are part of real groups (by real I mean IRL)...any of us is alone in front of their PC, laptop or whatever when interacting with the Internet peers, this is not the field I measure my loneliness on. Anyways, thanks for the suggestions and yes, that interests similarity research is what I'm working on at the moment.

21 sats \ 2 replies \ @orangepillapp 24 Sep

I really appreciate your openness in sharing these profound thoughts on human connection and loneliness. You’re right—humans are social animals, and the longing for deep, lasting relationships can be overwhelming when unmet. It’s tough when love, which we may take for granted at times, reveals itself to be irreplaceable.

One of the reasons we built Orange Pill App was to help address this very issue for Bitcoiners—connecting people who share the same values and worldview, fostering not just transactional interactions but genuine relationships. We realized that finding “your tribe” is crucial in a world where many people feel disconnected, even if surrounded by others.

Loneliness is something many of us have wrestled with, and while love is irreplaceable, finding like-minded individuals can help combat that sense of isolation. Sometimes, it’s not just about romantic love, but about belonging to a community that understands you, even if just through shared ideals.

I hope you find those meaningful connections, and I’m confident that, in the right environments, they’re out there. We built the app to make finding them a bit easier for Bitcoiners, but the journey of finding deeper connections remains one we all continue to navigate. Thanks for sharing your thoughts; you're not alone in them.

Matteo

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

Thanks Matteo for your answer, I may have a go with your app in the future (I'll be relocating soon). Sometimes we bury ourselves inside deep holes and we tell ourselves that it's the only place where we can stay safe, where we cannot be hurt by the others. What happens then is that we usually do more harm than good with that approach than what would happen if we were to embrace the pain of social relationships. When I think about these things I always remember a short novel written by Dostoevskji that is called Notes from Underground. A man that burried himself in a narrow apartment to avoid relationships, and his bitterness as a consequence of that. I highly suggest it, but that's a painful reading,

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @orangepillapp 25 Sep

Your reply made me think of this quote:

"A ship in a harbor is safe but that is not what ships are built for"

😉

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @jddska 31 Oct

We are made for relationships, the more loliness we get there's the trap of thinking we can be well alone. To contrast that, we can be more open towards people to everybody, listen with patient but without losing our identity. I mean being open mided towards others, but not so open to the point of letting the brain fall out of the skull

0 sats \ 2 replies \ @Wetoshi 24 Sep

Love and loneliness. Two sides of the same coin. In my experience, loneliness is the result of externalizing love —seeing at something outside of yourself. However frustrating, I believe it is true that we must first love ourselves. When we first love ourself, something wonderful happens. We start taking better care of ourselves, and a chain reaction of positive effects begin to happen. This in turn inspires others to “love” us simply for being happy with ourselves. It’s very similar to the notion of the law of attraction. Difficult as it may be, try to cultivate love from within. And if that is challenging for you, I would encourage you to look into the awe and wonder of things bigger than ourselves. Religion, spirituality, meditation…etc. I’m not trying to shill you one viewpoint or another, simply to realize that life is precious and we are incredible living beings with the most agency and potential of any other known living entity. I believe loneliness, and boredom for that matter, come as a consequence of forgetting how incredibly amazing, capable and unique we all are. Easy to do in our modern world full of materialism and abstraction. So love yourself, OP.

Plus, if you’re a on SN you’re clearly a smart person who understands Bitcoin. While I don’t even know you, I know you already have a lot going for you!

Go outside, connect with nature “touch grass” and love yourself. Good things will happen 💛

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

Love it. Seeing a smiling little girl with her momma today gave me exactly that feeling of happiness. The snowball effect that gratitude and love have is something I alywas underestimated, me being that kind of person that is never happy with what he has. I'm trying hard to change that, to not miss important shots of life.

Out of curiosity, do you have specific activities, rituals, books, ideas, films, quotes - whatever that is - that you use to remind yourself this things? It may be as stupid question, excuse me if so.

21 sats \ 0 replies \ @Wetoshi 24 Sep

Having an “attitude of gratitude” is the best and most succinct quote or mantra I can think to share. Easy to say and more difficult to do.

Making a habit of reflecting on things you’re grateful for is very cathartic and self-healing. This could be done journaling, meditating or praying.

It primes your mind for a growth mindset because you’ll want to add more things to that list, haha.

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @Satoshi__Nakamoto 24 Sep

That's must be an hard time

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Myshkin OP 24 Sep

Not particularly hard, just business as usual. I just wanted to get a few ideas from fellow bitcoiners. I consider this community as a very nice place to hang out for ideas about difficult matters like loneliness. I like SN feedbacks.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @TheMorningStar 24 Sep

A man can also be lonely and happy.

0 sats \ 1 reply \ @clarity 23 Sep

Sats = Love

And all I can say is, yes, we are monkeys 🐒 (with bitcoin) YOLO!

71 sats \ 0 replies \ @Myshkin OP 23 Sep

Sats is love as long as sats are able to make your more free to think about love. Not the other way around, IMO.

0 sats \ 0 replies \ @Enthef 24 Sep freebie

I talk to people on social media. Even if they don't talk back that's cool I shared my music and stuff. Most people are nice. <3