I follow a lot of parenting, motherhood, pediatrician, and child psychologist websites. I read the comments of many young mothers from different places, and we all definitely come to the conclusion that parenting is (or seems to be) very difficult these days. No matter what you do, everything is done wrong, nothing is ever good enough.
Having the Internet is a blessing; it gives us windows into knowledge and learning about things our grandmothers basically ignored or had to guess at. Apparently, parenting 50 years ago was "easier" if a child had a roof over their head and more than enough food; it was a successful upbringing.
Now, thanks to our beloved Internet, the very fact that we have so much information at our fingertips has caused confusion in all of this parenting stuff because the information you find contradicts each other.
Mothers now feel guilty about everything, and I include myself in this situation.
• Breastfeed, bottle-feed, or mix feed.
• When should you start complementary feeding? BLW or soups, purees, and creams? When can you give them water?
• Free movement on the floor? Or do they get sick from lying on the floor? Do babies get scuffed or kicked? Should they sleep in their own room from birth or co-sleep?
• Speak at least 2 languages
• You should play sports, but not too many.
• You must stimulate your children, but not overstimulate because it hurts them.
• Respectful education, without crossing boundaries and not being permissive, but not too rigid either.
• Don't use the word "NO" unless it's an emergency. Use assertive language.
• Sugar-free, gluten-free diet
• If you are a working woman then you are a bad mother for abandoning your children, but if you decide to be a housewife and dedicate yourself to your children then you are lazy, slack and kept.
This is just a small list of situations you face every day. Although it may seem silly and insignificant, there are many mothers right now who feel inadequate for not doing things "perfectly," because no matter how hard you try, there are always, always people judging your parenting and making comparisons. "My son, at your son's age, was already flying, spoke 10 languages, and earned a master's degree."
We must know how to filter the information we consume. Some content is overly exaggerated and out of touch with reality.
This doesn't seem like a problem because, at the end of the day, everyone decides how to raise their children, and no one should interfere. We need to set clear boundaries with family and friends, and we ourselves should avoid unsolicited opinions.
Parents are more likely to say they feel judged by family members than by their friends, other parents in their community or people they interact with online.
There are wide differences in some of the ways mothers and fathers describe their parenting style. For example, about half of mothers (51%) say they tend to be overprotective, compared with 38% of fathers. In turn, fathers (24%) are more likely than mothers (16%) to say they tend to give their children too much freedom. Mothers are also more likely than fathers to say they tend to give in too quickly (40% vs. 27%, respectively), while fathers are more likely to say they stick to their guns too much (36% vs. 24% of mothers).
Source: Parenting in America Today
There are signs of a backlash, led by so-called free-range parents, but social scientists say the relentlessness of modern-day parenting has a powerful motivation: economic anxiety. For the first time, it’s as likely as not that American children will be less prosperous than their parents. For parents, giving children the best start in life has come to mean doing everything they can to ensure that their children can climb to a higher class, or at least not fall out of the one they were born into.